A Force for Good
Mar-Apr 2023
On Purpose Woman
FREE
On Purpose Woman Magazine is published bi-monthly online. We reserve the right to edit or reject any material submitted. Neither the publishing team or the advertisers accept responsibility for errors. Publication and distribution of this magazine does not constitute an endorsement of information, products or services. The publisher reserves the right to reject any advertisement or listing for any reason. To reproduce articles, always credit On Purpose Woman Magazine with the link to the issue. Also, credit the author and leave their bio and contact info intact.
On Purpose Woman Publisher/Editor Ginny Robertson Creative Director Kathryn Yarborough Contributing Writers: Carol Burbank Emily Deaton Gina Hogan Edwards Darlene Grablowski Andrea Hylen Yemaja Jubilee Kandi Leigh Deirdre Maguire Beth Shekinah Terrence Edie Weinstein Sofia Wren Kimboo York Cover Art By: Raven Eyes Cagle
Subscribe! Get the On Purpose Woman Magazine delivered straight to your inbox!
Click here!
Inside On Purpose Woman...
6 Letter from the Publisher Ginny Robertson 10 Boost Your Creativity (Part 2): It’s a Gas, Gas, Gas Gina Hogan Edwards 18 The Importance of Human Connection Deirdre Maguire 25 3 Unique Marketing Options for Your Book Emily Deaton 30 The Courage to Lead: Stepping Beyond the Stereotypes that Limit Women's Power Carol Burbank 40 The Truth about ‘Opposites Attract’ Kandi Leigh 46 Mar-Apr OPWGC Gatherings – Speakers & Topics 52 Conscious Self-Evolution: Are you an Evolutionary Woman? Andrea Hylen 57 Events and Resources 62 Rolling Merrily Dr. Yemaja Jubilee 64 Cover Artist Raven Eyes Cagle 72 On Purpose Woman Global Community Member Directory 84 This Detroit Girl Darlene Grablowsk 89 Black Women Owned Business Directory 92 The Problem With “Work/Life Balance” KimBoo York 98 On Purpose Woman Member Spotlight 102 Is Writing in the 3rd person dead? Sofia Wren Nitchie 114 From Numbness to Oneness: Recovering Body, Mind & Soul Beth Shekinah Terrence 122 Sage Women Wisdom 124 Checking Off Another Bucket List Item: Offering a TEDx Talk Edie Weinstein
Thank You to Our Advertisers Andrea Hylen * Automation Nation * BANC * Bessie Estonactoc * Beth Shekinah Terrence * Brave Healer Productions * Breakthrough Divorce Coaching * Coach Claudette * Coaching By Shelly * Columbia Center for Spiritual Living * DoraVilk * Earthsave Baltimore * Heart’s Voice Movement * Jacklyn Ryan * Julia Mattis Re/Max Advantage * KarmaFest * Last Wishes * Laurie Morin * Legal Shield * Light of Truth Center * Lilia Shoshanna Rae * Lori Saitz * Mary Perry * Me Myself & Money * Mended Digital * Nourishing Journey * Olivia Jones Mary Kay * Rebel Magic * Sacred Ground Walk * Sahffi * Send Out Cards * Smarter Advantage LTC * So Social Visionary * Soul-utions Hypnosis * Storyweaving * Tamara Robinson * Temple in the Woods * Veronica Grey * Your Inspired Choices * Your Writing Mentor
Click the title and leap to the page!
Click our ads!
How’s your year going? Are you on track with your dreams and goals or have you fallen behind? We’re just two months into 2023 so it’s a great time to evaluate where you are and what you need to do to end the year feeling good about what you’ve started, created, completed, or let go of. If you’re looking for support, check out the pages of On Purpose Woman Magazine. This issue is filled with inspirational, as well as practical ideas and resources to grow your mind, body, spirit, and business. Thank you to our talented writers for sharing your wisdom and life experiences. We appreciate your contributions. And thank you to our cover artist for sharing your creativity and passion. Our advertisers are why you receive this for free. Please look through these pages for support or to enhance your personal or professional life. The ads are linked, so click on each one for more info. Enjoy your Spring! Be Well, Love Big, Spread Joy, Shine Your Light, Make a Difference, and LIVE ON PURPOSE!
Get involved with the On Purpose Woman Global Community Read and share this magazine. Write for us, advertise with us, or be our cover artist. Attend one of our 10 free online gatherings or in person in Columbia, MD, Richmond VA, or Tallahassee, FL. Join the On Purpose Woman Global Community and take advantage of the member benefits. Only $19/month or $195/year. Click here for more information. Be interviewed on our Real Women. Real Purpose. Talk Show live on Facebook and on our On Purpose Woman Global Community YouTube channel. Watch our interviews there too! Click Here to join the On Purpose Woman Global Community on Facebook.
Ginny
From the Publisher Ginny Robertson
We romanticize creativity, to see it as some rare, magical quality only a few are allowed to have. Or that it’s a state we might get lucky to enter occasionally. While the experience can certainly feel magical, creativity is available to each and every one of us at any time. We convince ourselves we aren’t creative, but we’re actually just floundering in conditions where creativity cannot thrive. Here are five of them: Stress Stress is creativity’s number one enemy. It robs us of the energy and inclination to be inventive. It prevents us from noticing possibilities and opportunities. When we’re stressed, we have tunnel vision and can handle only a single idea or concept at a time. Our minds cannot wander. Our imaginations cannot flourish in a stressed state. Cocoons of Safety In our physical environments as well as in our mental spaces, we tend to stay within cocoons of safety. We hang close with people, circumstances, and beliefs that are most familiar to us, cocoons where only the ideas, beliefs, activities, and mindsets that align with our own exist. Our cocoon also houses our confirmation bias, our tendency to interpret things, even with new evidence, as validation of our existing beliefs or theories. This robs us of the varied input that’s needed to be creative, which relates to the next two factors inhibiting our creativity and imagination. Your Schema To understand the next factor, let’s do a quick exercise. Imagine a celebration dinner in a fancy restaurant. Picture the people, the space. Take a minute . . . Got it? Once this scene is clear in your mind, consider: Was the décor largely dark red? Was there carpeting? Was background music playing softly? Were the tables round? With white tablecloths? Did waiters have white cloths draped on their arms? Carrying silver platters? If you answered yes to any of these, you were relying on your schema to create the scene. Since it would take much more effort to pick out all the individual components—the tablecloth, curtains, music, etc.—the brain draws on past experiences and goes to the average of what you’ve seen most often. That’s your schema. Your brain did a mash-up of restaurants you’ve seen, including on TV and in movies, added your own experiences, and gave you the restaurant scene you pictured in response to my prompt. A Closed Mind In terms of allowing our brains to work faster and more efficiently, our schemas help us. But they can severely hamper us when we’re trying to be uniquely imaginative. A closed mind also hinders creativity. When we approach something with pre-formed ideas, our expectations and beliefs can prevent us from exploring the possible and the impossible. A closed mind is an unwillingness to see beyond our schemas and thus narrows our vision. Lack of Practice Another deterrent to creativity that’s rarely talked about is lack of practice. Creativity is like a muscle: unused, it won’t stay toned. We miss out on a real opportunity to cultivate lifelong creativity when we don’t encourage ourselves and our children to practice creativity. Shaking up the conditions that make us believe we aren’t creative isn’t hard! Here are a few suggestions: Crack that cocoon. Our cocoon is where we retreat; it’s safe, but in our cocoon, we see only things we already know and won’t see things we don’t know. We must pay attention to everything that’s new to us, to anything that seems “different” or even strange. Curiosity is the key to cracking the cocoon. So be curious… about everything. Cultivate a sense of wonder. When you get a chance to experience new places and meet new people, perhaps to try new foods or encounter a different culture, do you feel exhilarated? A change of scenery in an inspiring environment with new people always kicks up my ideas. Improv artists say the first thing that comes to your mind is usually not the most creative. In fact, a common improv activity involve waiting for the second or the third idea. When we disregard our first idea to get to a better one, we are using our ‘executive attention network’ described in Part 1 of this article (Jan/Feb issue). We easily accept that musicians, dancers, and athletes get better at what they do by practicing. Yet even art schools don’t generally teach us how to practice creativity. I’m a fan of the 1960s and love the expression: “It was a real gas, man,” meaning a fun time, a blast. Since that’s what creativity should be, I developed a simple model for practicing creativity: GAS! Gather. Actuate. Shape. 1. Gather – This is the ‘readying’ stage when youexplore, wander, fill your brain, listen to music, watch movies, read, and converse with strangers. Allow intense curiosity so you’re open to seeing and experiencing things you don’t already know. As you notice, amass, and absorb, your subconscious will be busy making connections between things that, to the conscious mind, are seemingly unrelated. We don’t honor this stage enough because the daydreaming, window-gazing, and long walks that happen can appear pointless, time-wasting, or lazy; it seems like an inactive stage. But things are cooking inside. Don’t force it. Trust the process. Then seemingly, all of a sudden, ideas pop! 2. Actuate – In this stage,ideas come to life in our conscious mind so we can play with them. So play, be wild! Your ideas are inviting you to step into unrestrained expression. Along with Gathering, Actuating enlists the “wild mind,” both subconsciously and consciously, from Dorothy Parker’s quote in Part 1. In these two steps, your ‘imagination network’ and ‘salience network’ are turned on. 3. Shape – In this stage,your ‘executive attention network,’ the“disciplined eye” from Parker’s quote, is most active. Organize, form, polish, prune, evaluate. (If you’re making art for the sole purpose of self-expression, not to be shared, you might skip this step, in which case, you’d be having a GA instead of a GAS!). Creativity is a teachable, learnable process. It’s a skill that everyone can practice and put to use to make their life better and to change the world, because your creative effort, whatever that looks like, matters. So, please, go! Start tomorrow. Go with a wild mind, let your curiosity crack your cocoon, throw out your schemas and your first ideas, expose yourself to new people and places. And PRACTICE. Gather, actuate, shape your creative ideas so, someday, you look back on your creative life and say, “Far out, man. It was a real GAS!” Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text
Boost Your Creativity (Part 2): It’s a Gas, Gas, Gas By Gina Hogan Edwards
Gina Hogan Edwards This series is based on a talk by Gina Hogan Edwards given to a December 2022 online gathering of the On Purpose Woman Global Community. See Part 1 in the Jan/Feb issue of On Purpose Woman Magazine. Gina is a certified creativity coach and facilitator of women’s writing retreats and WomanSpeak Circles. She is also the founder of Women Writing for Change. You can learn more and connect with her at https://www.ginahoganedwards.com/Links
Advertise with us! With us!k Here for Information.
Connection is a crucial aspect of our mental health and well-being. In times of trouble, we are inclined to withdraw and isolate ourselves from others. It could be the beginning of a shutdown, so it is important to address this area. Social connection can help boost your mood and manage your emotions. Through the years, we’ve thrived as a species by connecting with others. Whether we were hunting for meat or gathering berries — we did it together in social groups. This human connection has advanced our world from gathering and hunting for our food to shopping for it in the local supermarket. But with the rise of digital interactions, we’ve also seen an increase in loneliness. Meetings and social gatherings are now quite often done virtually. We celebrate the events in our lives with a heart or thumbs-up emoji. Although it can feel counter intuitive, reaching out to others and making a conscious decision to connect maintains our sense of belonging in the world. What does connection look like in your life? Are you in a primary relationship or avoiding one? How connected physically, sexually, spiritually, and emotionally are you to family, friends, co-workers, community, etc.? Ask yourself, how am I actively connecting with others in my life daily? Benefits to social connection can include: Mental health boost: Social connections can offer mental health benefits, such as boosting mood, reducing stress, and improving self-esteem. Longer life span: A study conducted in 2018 by scientists from University College London suggests that total social isolation can increase the chances of premature death by up to 50%. Lonely people are more vulnerable to viruses and diseases due to a lowered immune system. Increased fulfillment: When we connect with friends, family, or partners -whether through a quick phone call or on a nature hike, we can go through many emotions. We may be laughing, crying, or venting. When we express these emotions, our brain releases dopamine and endorphins— the “feel good” neurotransmitters responsible for happiness and a positive mood. Not everyone has to connect socially in the same way. If you’re more introverted, hanging out with a group of people may not be your thing. Try to find a way to connect that fits you and your unique lifestyle. You could begin by reaching out to an old friend or consider volunteering at a nonprofit organization near you. Helping others is a rewarding way to build friendships and connect with others. Join a local group that meets regularly, like a book club or hiking group. Routine interaction is a great way to get comfortable socializing and getting to know others. But…Remember The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself! It is the most important one you’ll ever have because it’s the one you’ll always have! It is the foundation on which all other relationships are built. Be kind to yourself first, be your own best friend first, and all other relationships will flourish. Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text
The Importance of Human Connection By Deirdre Maguire
Deirdre Maguire is a World Class Mind Wellness Expert, Author, and creator of The Stress Solution System who resides in the UK. "I have the proof because I am the proof." www.DeirdreMaguire.com YouTube: www.youtube.com/wisdomofireland Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wisdomofireland/
Body text
The idea of marketing your book can be intimidating for many writers—where do you start, who do you contact, and how do you make your book shine when there are so many books on the market? Here's the good news: you don't have to do it alone! Working with people who live and breathe marketing makes it a whole lot easier to market your book. Of course, if you consider yourself a marketing aficionado, you can totally try out your own marketing efforts! Here are three unique options to market your book. 1. Book Tours A book tour might sound scary at first. Still, book tours don't have to be intimidating or overwhelming, especially when you work with a professional! You have options when it comes to a book tour. If you want to travel throughout your state (and beyond!) to share your book, you can! Or, you can stay local and share your book at libraries, cafes, and local bookstores! A book tour can also include appearing on radio programs, TV segments, podcasts, and more! With so many options, you're sure to garner attraction from new readers who want to know more about you and your story! 2. Lead Magnets If you're wondering what the heck a lead magnet is, don't worry, we'll explain! You give your readers a lead magnet in exchange for something from them. Usually, this is their email address, which you add to your email list. Depending on the genre you write in, your strengths, and the amount of time you want to put into your lead magnet, you can create pretty much anything to grab readers' attention! For example, sharing a "deleted chapter" from your novel can entice readers to learn more if you're writing a fiction book. Or, if you're writing a self-help book, sharing a PDF with practical tips might be what your readers are looking for. If your book is more focused on graphics, like children's books often are, sharing some behind-the-scenes sketches and initial drafts of your characters could be interesting to readers, too. You want your lead magnet to be something related to your book that pulls readers in. Ask yourself what you'd want to know more about when it comes to your favorite book, and go from there! 3. Book Trailers I don't know about you, but movie trailers have pulled me in, even if the movies aren't ones I was interested in before seeing the trailer. A book trailer can work much like a movie trailer. A book trailer can be as cinematic or as lowkey as you'd like it to be, depending on your book and your style. Simply showing readers what your book looks like and reading an excerpt can make an awesome book trailer. Alternatively, you can employ some outside help and make a moody, dramatic trailer filled with suspense. If you're unsure what a book trailer should look like, there's no "right" or "wrong" here. You can check out some awesome book trailers on this playlist from Epic Reads on YouTube. However you do your marketing, have fun with your campaigns and remember that it's all about promoting something you've made and sharing it with the world! Have you considered (or used) any of the above marketing tactics when promoting your book? Let us know; we love hearing from you! Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text
3 Unique Marketing Options for Your Book By Emily Deaton
Emily Deaton is an editor, writer, and book coach at KWE Publishing. She is passionate about helping authors tell their stories. When she's not buried in a book, Emily loves spending time outside, advocating for people with disabilities, and being with friends and family. www.kwepub.com
The Courage to Lead Stepping Beyond the Stereotypes that Limit Women's Power By Carol Burbank Body text
In a recent art class, one of my fellow students was exploring major changes in her life: closing her business and facing empty nest syndrome. The teacher asked those of us who had no children, or had experienced an empty nest, to come up with one word that describes our feeling about our lives. My word was "freedom." Others shared some version of that same idea – that our lives had meaning and expansion beyond our children and families, however we created them. It was refreshing to talk this through with other women, because sometimes I get frustrated by the conscious and unconscious limits that women accept in their lives. It's as if we measure ourselves unconsciously against our culture's most traditional ideas, accepting followership, not leadership, as inevitable. We judge ourselves using the conventional people-pleasing roles for mothers, partners, and community members, afraid to acknowledge or develop other kinds of power. For those who embraced empty nesting with gusto, that meant exploring themselves as a different kind of adult, one with adult children but not necessarily defined primarily by their role of mothers. For all of us, the difference between depression and delight was our willingness to know ourselves beyond stereotypes and roles. Owning the power to define and embrace ourselves is the first step towards empowering ourselves as leaders, wherever we share our gifts. Current research confirms that gender roles limit women's leadership, even though opportunities for women have gradually increased in workplace leadership. "We tend to identify certain stereotypical traits with men and women. The masculine cultural stereotypes are agentic, that is to say competitive, adventurous, aggressive, courageous, dominant and standing up under pressure. For women, the cultural stereotypes are communal, that is to say sympathetic, gentle, sensitive, supportive, kind and nurturing." (Forbes,2/26/21) Since leadership is about influence, and both male and female leaders can be influential with any of these characteristics, then gender stereotypes are simply that: stereotypes. It's an evolutionary step to learn how to lead as balanced people, not just as women or men. Because most of us don't spend our days making casseroles in frilly aprons like TV housewives, it can be hard to see the ways we limit ourselves. But we unconsciously carry gendered ideas about proper roles into our leadership expectations, casting ourselves as caregivers rather than embracing multiple paths for leadership empowerment. Women can be all kinds of leaders, from healers to deal closers, to visionary founders to growth leaders, from turnaround experts to powerhouse consultants in all our leadership circles. Leadership is an inside job as well as an outside negotiation. Are you farsighted, a manifester, a re-imaginer? When you look inside, do you see a warrior queen, a magician, a seeker, a wild woman? Can you act as a caregiver leader when that's right and true for you and the situation? Can you change strategies when you need to, or does it feel like a stretch to move out of the conventions you were raised in? If you're not giving your whole self the freedom to lead, you need to dig deep and find the one quality that makes every leader thrive: courage. The courage to lead is everywhere, once we see it. It's in the testimony of victims who claim their voice and truth when they share their stories. It's in the initiative of a subordinate who notices something wasteful or potentially dangerous, and steps up to correct a problem before it becomes a disaster. It's in the empty nester who turns a part-time business into a full-time, profitable venture, or changes direction because they have more time and energy. It's in the clarity of a boss who faces a crisis and acts for the benefit of everyone in a company. Courage is the wisdom to take a risk, knowing that risk is going to lead to many challenges as opportunities expand. And the bottom line is that these risks generally have nothing to do with our gendered assumptions, although it may feel at first like we're breaking some kind of rule when we go against them. Look again at the list of brave actions above. Each situation matches with both male and female leaders. But too often, we imagine certain kinds of leadership, particularly our own leadership, as gendered female instead of reflecting a self that is intersectional, created by many overlapping identities, not just our physical form and the cultural associations that attach to it. We are many things, our gender, race, class, sexuality, personal histories, educational status, etc., etc., etc. We are complex human beings born into a specific time and capable of great things if we let ourselves be fully present. Not only can we change the ways our identities overlap, but we can also embrace new identities, letting go of identities that no longer align with our lives or leadership roles. Any courageous leader would tell you, sometimes in a whisper, that leading with courage means being willing to ride the rollercoaster of uncertainty. Theologian and peacemaker Padraig O Tuama writes, "Courage comes from the same place as fear; where there is fear, there is the possibility of courage." In this dynamic (and often uncomfortable) space of creativity, our conscious and unconscious expectations become clear so we can choose the role that best fits our gifts and goals. Social stereotypes about what's appropriate for women are often the last barriers we break as female leaders. Leadership is all about how we lead from who we know ourselves to be. How we lead rises out of our assumptions about ourselves, assumptions that guide how we make decisions, build relationships, offer support to others, manage conflict, and present our thoughts, bodies, and energies in the world. Where in your life are you holding yourself back? Where are you hungry to move forward as a leader? Are you meeting the world from your courageous core? Why, as women, do we sometimes hold so tightly to gendered leadership norms? The courage to lead consciously often challenges these stereotypes, pushing us into transformative self-discovery. And self-discovery often translates into difficult lessons and uncomfortable changes. We yearn for certainty and, as a culture, reward business and community leaders who perform their roles (often conventionally!) with confidence. But it's so exciting to grow into expansive new ways of being. We are also richly rewarded by acknowledging that, with courage, we lead with our best. Gender is the last frontier. Everywhere around us, younger generations are redefining themselves as non-binary or alternatively gendered. I think those of us who still identify as she/her can learn a lot from their experiments with identity as we define ourselves as women and leaders. I know with certainty that female leaders who have the courage to meet challenges with their full, overlapping, evolving selves get to step past gender norms into core strengths. It can be scary to step up to change and be fully present and powerful in the world. And it is profoundly liberating. What path in your life is calling, right now, for leadership courage? There is a shine to those visions and goals, and a feeling of excitement that in one moment feels like joy, and another feels like anxiety. For the women I support with leadership coaching, I see over and over that stepping up often means leaving habitual gender stereotypes behind. That's the path with the highest potential, the one that will manifest in the most extraordinary ways. The first step is particularly scary, but courage invites the light to lead us forward. Maya Angelou said, "Courage is the most important of all the virtues because, without courage, you can't practice any other virtue consistently." Whatever virtues you want to cultivate as a leader, develop them with the courage that helps you express your whole self, building real-world influence in a world hungry for all your gifts. Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text
Gender is a shell game. What is a man? Whatever a woman isn't. What is a woman? Whatever a man is not. Tap on it and it's hollow. Look under the shells: it's not there. -Naomi Alderman
Courage comes from the same place as fear; where there is fear, there is the possibility of courage. - Padraig O Tuama
Carol Burbank is a coach, writer, writing mentor, editor, and consultant, founder of Storyweaving (www.storyweaving.com). Her latest project is Before We Disappear, producing books for writers and non-writers who want to publish beautiful memoirs to share their stories with their families and/or the world. She is the On Purpose Woman Global Community meeting leader in Fort Washington, MD. You can contact her at cburbank@storyweaving.com.
Courage is the most important of all the virtues because, without courage, you can't practice any other virtue consistently. -Maya Angelou
The Truth about ‘Opposites Attract’ Second in the Relationship Soup Series: A recipe for better relationships By Kandi Leigh I love to dance. One night, seven months post-divorce, my friend asked me if I wanted to go dancing. I said yes, but I mentioned that my inner child wanted to play and pretend it was my birthday. I brought cupcakes, party hats, glow sticks, and a Happy Birthday wine glass. The servers at the restaurant still remember me as the girl who pretended it was her birthday and gave them cupcakes. The biggest thing I remember about that night was how alive I felt, so in a sense, maybe it was my birthday. (I love birthdays!) As we waited for the band to start, I noticed a tall, dark-haired guy walking in surrounded by girls. But something inside me (confidence? feistiness? intuition?) said if he's single and wants to dance with me, he will. The band took a break, and music continued playing “DJ” style. The dance floor cleared, but I kept dancing by myself, as I often did. And then Whitney Houston’s “I Wanna Dance with Somebody” started playing. As the song got to the chorus, Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome started dancing with me. We were the only two people on the dance floor. The moment felt magnetic, like nothing could have stopped us from dancing together. We continued dancing together for the rest of the night. At one point, he lifted me into the air. Another time, he dipped me. I only got a little nervous that he might drop me. Mostly, I was surprised that I was letting him lead. Four years after that magical night, we’re still dancing together. Being around each other often feels like two magnets that can’t come apart no matter how hard someone pulls. But sometimes, we need our space. The magnetic attraction that we feel is a phenomenon known as polarity. Two entities with opposite “poles” are magnetic, creating polarity between masculine and feminine energy. This is one of the main ingredients that ignites attraction in relationships and what is truly meant by the saying that "opposites attract." The man generally carries more masculine energy, and the woman embodies more feminine energy. But all people embody both energies and have their own innate balance. So a man may naturally embody more feminine energy, and a woman may naturally have more masculine energy. Feminine energy is nurturing, compassionate, intuitive, and creative. She likes to go with the flow of life. Just like having a baby, she takes an idea and helps birth it. Masculine energy is action oriented. He likes logic and order. Masculine energy also creates boundaries and a sense of focus. Without a masculine container, feminine energy can become chaotic and unfocused. But, without feminine energy, the masculine can become uninspired. If water flows out of a faucet, it will go all over the place unless it goes into a container. Feminine energy is a lot like water. And without water, the container sits empty, serving no purpose. Masculine energy is like a container. The two energies thrive when they are in balance. Feminine energy is also considered the receiver energy, and she wants to be seen. But first, she must be open to inviting the masculine into her space. The masculine energy is the giver, the provider. But first, he must have confidence and know he is strong, capable, and stable. This is what happened the night I met my guy. The birthday girl in me was open to being seen, and I created space for him to feel invited. By dancing, I was in “flow” energy. That night, he was grounded in knowing his worth. He felt confident enough to initiate dancing with me. Can we all agree that a heart- centered confident man is the sexiest man in the room? He also showed me he could hold all of my “feisty” energy and contain it. What can I say? I’m a redhead with lots of Sagittarian energy. I inspired him to dance all night. But masculine and feminine energy can quickly become imbalanced, especially in today’s “hustle culture.” Women have spent decades practicing being in masculine energy. They’ve been raising children, managing households, building businesses, and everything in between. There’s been a lot of go, go, go and do, do, do. They lose the ability to relax and flow. Men have spent years being taught to ignore their inherent worth and are often critical of themselves. They may fall into depression because they haven’t been taught how to tune into their emotions and use them for inspiration. And then they lose the ability to feel like the provider they are meant to be. These imbalanced energies destabilize the magnetism, which is when couples begin to repel each other. Returning to balance requires time and space for the masculine and feminine energies to return to their natural states. Cooking is my favorite example of how masculine and feminine energy can work together. Cooking is often considered a feminine activity involving creativity and nourishment, but cooking can also be considered masculine. Making a meal involves planning and organization. A man feeding his family is providing for them. I will be the first to say that cooking stresses me out. Deciding what to make and timing the dishes usually feels overwhelming. But if my guy helps me focus on what to make and provides the tools, I love putting together a nourishing meal. I love cooking with him, especially when we dance in the kitchen. “The Truth about ‘Opposites Attract’” is the second of six articles in “Relationship Soup: A recipe for better relationships.” See Kandi's 1st article. Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text
0
Kandi Leigh is a love and relationship coach and reiki master teacher who helps individuals and couples heal relationship beliefs, develop self-love, and create heart-centered relationships. http://kandileigh.com
Conscious Self-Evolution Are you an Evolutionary Woman? (#1 of 10 articles on Conscious Self-Evolution) By Andrea Hylen An announcement for the first Evolutionary Woman Retreat arrived in my mailbox on the day of my husband's memorial service in September 2005. The words Evolutionary Woman stirred something in me. I didn't know what an Evolutionary Woman was; I just knew that I wanted to be one. Founded by my friends Lucky Sweeny and Bonnie Kelley, Evolutionary Women Retreats emerged out of a "field" of Conscious Evolution groups hosted by Barbara Marx Hubbard. Rumi describes the "field" in a poem: Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about. In Lynne McTaggart's books, The Field and The Intention Experiment, she reports scientifically that our body extends electromagnetically beyond ourselves and our physical body. Holding an intention, including prayer, with a group of people helps us tap into something that magnifies our inner knowing and exponentially expands the intention. Ninety women attended the first Evolutionary Women Retreat in Santa Barbara, California, in December 2005. On the first night of the Retreat, we moved our chairs and sat in groups of three, waiting for instructions for an experiential exercise. We would tap into "the field" that we had created just by bringing our electromagnetic selves together into the room. In the first round of the exercise, one of us would be the speaker, one of us would be the listener, and one of us would be the observer. (We would switch roles and do this two more times.) Lucky Sweeny asked us a question and to close our eyes, tune into our higher wisdom, then open our eyes and speak. I don't remember the question, but I remember thinking I didn't have an immediate answer to it. As we sat in silence, I felt a rapid flash of my life from childhood to the present moment. So many choices and decisions I made that had surfaced from my inner knowing. I followed them even when the world around me told me I was wrong. The decision to leave an abusive marriage, the decision to use alternative medicine for a chronic health condition, and the decision to homeschool my kids in community-based learning. Big and little choices. I knew in that moment, during the first exercise, that I was an Evolutionary Woman. I had always been an Evolutionary Woman. From that moment on, I was even more aware of a bigger universe, an unseen world that was happening around me that supported me, and a more expansive view of my purpose and life. Ms. Hubbard also defined self-evolution: While self-development works toward improvement, self-evolution offers a new template. It is open-ended. We have not yet seen the full model of what we can become. At the Retreat, the Saturday night activity was called "An Every Woman's Bazaar." Chairs were set up back-to-back in weaving rows. Each participant was encouraged to share something and display it on a chair. Photos of our family, friends, and pets. Creative projects. Business cards. Items for sale. Books we had written. Evolutionary ideas for schools, the environment, parenting, co-creating in community, businesses, and social programs. We were here to witness the evolution of the women in this room. Walking up and down the rows, we spent the evening learning about each woman's life. A simple family photo led to conversations about homeschooling in community, sharing resources, heart-based networking, organic farming, environmentally safe products, exchanges of healing modalities, and finding collaborative partners. As I listened to the stories, it became clear that two things had occurred multiple times for each woman: 1. A breakdown: something was missing or no longer working, and "societal norms" did not provide any solutions. 2. A breakthrough: new ideas, synchronicity, and solutions seemed to pop up out of nowhere with action steps that required faith, risk, innovation, and creativity. Most of the time, it required finding a new support system, resources, and community. If any of this resonates with you, here are a few reflections to "tap into the Evolutionary Woman field": Reflect on a breakdown from your past that led to a breakthrough. What was missing or no longer working? What new ideas and solutions seemed to pop up out of nowhere? What synchronicities happened? Who did you connect with for support? Is there something that is breaking down in your life now? Write about what is happening and ask some questions like, "What is good about this? What am I learning? What solutions have I not seen yet?" When answers appear, write them down and take small action steps. This is the first article of a series of ten. In future articles, we will be exploring some of the "codes" from Barbara Marx Hubbard's book called, 52 Codes for Self-Evolution: A process of metamorphosis to realize our full potential self. "I will stay awake with you." ~The promise from an Evolutionary Woman Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text
Andrea Hylen, Lucky Sweeny, and Bonnie Kelley
What is an Evolutionary Woman? "A feminine co-creator, one who is incarnating the creative intention of the universe, localized within herself as her own passion to create; one who is consciously self-evolving and is willing to realize her full potential for the good of the self and the whole human community." ~Barbara Marx Hubbard 52 Codes for Conscious Self-Evolution
Andrea Hylen Ancestral Lineage Healing Practitioner. Author of Heal My Voice: An Evolutionary Woman's Journey. Creator of The Incubator: On-line Co-working Space for Cultural Creatives. Somatic-Intuitive Coach. www.andreahylen.com
Click Here
Subscribe
Get the On Purpose Woman Magazine delivered to your inbox!
Editor’s note: I travelled to Richmond, VA for the Connections Over Coffee gathering of the On Purpose Woman Global Community on February 3rd. I was so happy to meet women I only knew through zoom and reconnect and share hugs with others. One of those women is the amazing spoken word poet, Yemaja Jubilee. During our meeting, she penned some words about what she was seeing and feeling and we’re sharing them with all of you. ~Ginny Robertson
Dr.Yemaja Jubilee, is a Soul—Full Poet, Sermonic Spoken word Artist, Inspirational Speaker, Author, Creative Consultant, and song writer.She “NSPIRES, NCOURAGES & NFLUENCES” others to EMERGE & EVOLVE. Check her out on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@lovelightpositivity
Rolling Merrily By Dr. Yemaja Jubilee Roll with Thee FLOW!!!! ASE ASE! Off we go With OPW We take the Dive! Welcome Beloved Beings to our Tribe!! Coming together N laughter, gaiety, and Joy…on a cold brisk morn at Unity in our Beloved Community. No need to be bored nor torn. We all are filled with lots of bright loving energy. Conversation, Connections and Luminosity. We see through the eyes of clarity. Spiraling, we let go, dispensing support to each other to assure together we all are Midwives to the Birthing of our Highest Good in all areas of our lives. Patiently, Passionately and Wholeheartedly we embrace the totality of all we can be. We giggle, snort and smile too. Simply put, we have Silliness perfected to an Art, with Authenticity being the glue seasoned with Curiosity paving the way for Inclusivity and Diversity. Child at heart, we are aware that where we go, playfulness is our magical superpower. Tippy Toe softly, Brilliantlyand Happily we touch each other’s heart. So Lean N Love N and Be N. We are all N. Bring who you Be, Me bringing Me, So we all can Be. Breathe and Be. ASE ASE! ROLLLLLLLING MERRILY N a Lively way, each moment of this DAY!! Body text
Cover Artist: Raven Eyes Cagle
Life is magical, wonderful, and full of possibilities. I wish to bring out the beauty that I see and know and share that love of creation with all who view my art or hear my music. I am a visionary multi-media artist who utilizes a wide range of mediums, including painting, pastels, collage, and photography, to create works of art to evoke emotion, change perspective, stir the soul, and explore nature consciousness. I use intuition to fuse the spiritual and nature into the visual matter of the mind and heart. Curiosity and experimentation are keys to this exploration of possibilities of vision, celebration, and creativity. My love of active meditation has become manifest with my art creation and music making. Nature and Spirit are my main inspirations. My intention is to create a vast field of artwork that is expansive and versatile, as is the vastness of humanity, nature, and spirit. In addition to art making, I am also passionate about the power that music can render on the soul. I love co-creating music, art, and meditation to foster creativity and healing. My music encourages playful and mindful connection to self and community. Contact Raven Eyes for available images for sale and any commissioned work you would like. She is available for freelance art and music making. www.RavenEyesCreations.com/ raveneyescreations@gmail.com Body text Body text
More art by Raven Eyes Cagle
On Purpose Woman Glogal Community Member Directory
To be listed in this directory, join the On Purpose Woman Global Community.
Amanda (AJ) Schwarz. Mended Digital.Mason, OH.Website Design and Digital Marketing. Feel confident about putting yourself & your business online. www.mendeddigital.com aschwarz@mendeddigital.com Andrea Hylen. Santa Monica, CA. Ancestral Lineage Healing. Mental Health Fitness. Somatic-Intuitive Coach. The Incubator: Developmental Writing Coach. http://www.andreahylen.com/ Beth Shekinah Terrence. Annapolis, MD. Integrative Shamanic Healing and Restorative Practices for Individuals, Communities and Organizations.https://bethterrence.com beth@bethterrence.com 443-223-0848 Beverly Hamilton CHT.S oul-utions Hypnosis.Connecting women to their starbabies; 3Keys® Hypnofertility/Hypnobirth. Baltimore, MD. Free self-hypnosis recording: www.Soul-utionsHypnosis.com HypnoAromaBev@gmail.com 410-663-5089. Carol Burbank. Storyweaving Coaching. Fort Washington, MD. Compassionate, professional writing mentoring and services: coaching, manuscript evaluation, editing, publisher/agent proposals, research, ghost writing. cburbank@storyweaving.com Cheri Martin.So Social Visionary LLC. Satellite Beach, FL. Social Media Strategist, and LinkedIn Coach, Trainer, Speaker www.SoSocialVisionary.com Cheryl Hickman. Hickman Enterprises.Clinton, MD.Recommend/Educate Blockchain platforms for Retirement, Supplemental and Legacy Income. YourExclusives@gmail.com 301-536-6265 (please leave a message) Cherryll Sevy. Living Forward After Fifty. Los Gatos, CA. Writer/Speaker, inspiring and guiding women to a full life. www.cherryllsevy.com Cindy Freland. Cindy Freland, Author.Bowie, MD. Children learn about the Chesapeake Bay by reading my books. www.cbaykidsbooks.com cindyrenefreland@gmail.com 240-882-5429 Claudette W. Gadsden. Coach Claudette & Associates. Caret, VA.We guide women to more clear concise conversations. Let's Talk! www.CoachClaudette.com Claudette W. Gadsden.Temple in the Woods. Caret, VA. Bed & Breakfast off the beaten path. A place to nourish your soul. www.TempleintheWoods.com. Dawn Shuler.Soulful Business Coach.Gore, VA.I work with women business owners to play bigger by focusing on systems. www.SmartBusinessFromYourSoul.com Dr. Dora Vilk-Shapiro. Romance Mystery Author of Love Arrested, Love Attempted, and Love Avenged. Lauderdale-By-The-Sea, FL. www.DorisVilk.com 954-675-3500 Doria Musaga. BEMER Distributor. Columbia, MD. BEMER therapy improves blood flow to increase energy. Decreases, pain chronic fatigue, aids recovery from injury. http://bmruniversity.com/whatisbemer www.nursedoria.bemergroup.com 667-786-1032 Elizabeth Papp-Stinson.Transpersonal Life Coach. Saint Lucie, FL.Mind, Body & Spirit connection to create balance and peace. amethistlady59@hotmail.com 585-313-6668 Elizabeth L. J. Smith, ChSN. True North Associates, LLC. Whiteford, M. Life & Health Insurance, Special Needs Planning and Medicare Focus. www.TrueNorthAssoc.com Elizabeth@TrueNorthAssoc.com 443-528-3659 Ellen Koronet. LNK Creative. Frederick Co. MD.Lead Magnet Strategies: creative bubble mapping, quizzes, and assessments. EllenKoronet@LNKcreative.com 240-315-3371 Free chat:bit.ly/LNK-talk Emily Shull. Me Myself and Money.The Netherlands. I help women understand and heal their relationship with money. https://memyselfandmoney.com Felicia BarlowClar. Epilogue Tributes. Annapolis, MD. Creating unique, personalized Celebration of Life services. Virtual gatherings available. Because we all matter. www.celebratingthedash.com Gail Dixon. The Heart’s Voice Movement. Tallahassee, FL. We guide people to discover and express their life’s purpose and passion. www.heartsvoicemovement.com Gerise Pappas. Phoenix, MD.Transformational Life Coach & Enneagram Facilitator working with growth-oriented individuals ready to replace fear-based habits with inspired action. Phoenix, MD www.GerisePappas.com Gina Hogan Edwards. Women Writing for CHANGE; WomanSpeak Circles & Speaker Certification; Retreats. 850-766-6029. https://www.ginahoganedwards.com/Links Ginny Robertson. On Purpose Woman Global Community. Lutherville, MD. 11 Free Zoom gatherings each month. In-person meeting in Richmond, VA. https://www.OPWGC.com Ginny Robertson.On Purpose Woman Magazine. Lutherville, MD. Go to the website to read the current and back issues, for advertising rates, and info on writing for the magazine or being our cover artist. https://www.OPWGC/magazine Helena Richardson. HRichnetworks, LLC.Chesterfield, VA. We offer Web Design, Digital marketing, Search Engine Optimization (SEO), Google Analytics, Technical Support with a focus on Network Security. www.hrichnetworks.com Janet Roessler. CreativityConsultant. Inner Voices Outer Vision.Ft. Pierce, FL.Art, Marketing, Rituals, Events, & other journeys. I help you do what you do, better. https://innervoicesoutervision.com/ Jean Wright. Speaker, Author of Selling Your Confidence. Frederick, MD. I coach women in sales and entrepreneurs who want to sell confidently. www.sellingyourconfidence.com (3/15) jeanw9440@gmail.com Jennifer Palmer. Nourishing Journey Café & Wellness Center.Columbia, MD.Healing Bodies ~ Opening Minds ~ Uniting Hearts.Columbia MD.410-992-3001 www.nourishing-journey.com Joyce Fishel, DPT. Blue Lotus Physical Therapy & Wellness. Baltimore, MD. Specializing in Holistic Pain Relief & Therapeutic Movement. www.BlueLotusPhysicalTherapy.com 443-650-8886 Julia Mattis. The Julia Mattis Sales Team at Re/Max Advantage Realty. Columbia, MD. Realtor specializing in working with Sellers and Buyers in Maryland! www.JuliaMattis.net juliamattis@hotmail.com 1-410-303-7010 Julia Rivas. Smarter Advantage LTC. Advice and guidance for health/life insurance, Medicare, long-term care and retirement planning https://smarteradvantageltc.com 240-421-0491 Karen DaGrava. Stepping Stones To Perfect Health.Baltimore, MD. Lose weight and end yo-yo dieting effortlessly through self-love. karendagravamd@yahoo.com https://www.facebook.com/groups/stepping stonestoperfecthealth Karen Tasto. Open Heart Healing, LLC. Derwood, MD. Life Coaching & Women’s Circles for Reclaiming & Connecting to Your WHOLE Self. https://karentasto.com/ 301-646-4385 Kathryn Yarborough. Vibrant Entrepreneurs Circle. Lake Mary, FL. Training to attract clients and grows a business you love. https://www.manifestingclientsacademy.com/ Kenya Halliburton. Course to CashFlow. Huntsville, AL. As an Online Course Choreographer, I help women entrepreneurs build life-friendly and profitable online businesses using courses. www.KenyaHalliburton.com Kim Eley.KWE Publishing.Prince George, VA. Bringing magic to authors to transform their idea into their amazing published book. www.kwepub.com KimBoo York, M.L.I.S.The Task Mistress. Tallahassee, FL.Productivity Solutions for Women Solopreneurs. https://www.task-mistress.com Kitty Hatcher. Awareness Through Astrology. Baltimore, MD I give private astrological readings and teach classes in astrology, Tarot, and meditation. phone/text: 443-610-6437 Kyle Brooks, LMT. Heartfelt Shiatsu. Columbia, MD. Craniosacral Therapy, Shiatsu, Massage & more443-514-4399 Kyle@HeartfeltShiatsu.com www.HeartfeltShiatsu.com Laura Di Franco, MPT. Brave Healer Productions. Bethesda, MD. Have fun with your fear and share your healing message with the world. www.BraveHealer.com 703-915-3653 Laurie Morin. Wilmington, NC. Retreats to help women design adventurous lives and legacies.Author of Shero's Journey. https://www.LaurieMorin.com Lilia Shoshanna Rae. Author ofThe Art of Listening to Angels, Reiki Master. Severna Park, MD me@lilia.co www.LiliaShoshannaRae.com Liz Goll Lerner, CAT, LCPAT, LPC ATR-BC. Your Inspired Choices, LLC. New York City & Washington DC. Personal Coaching, Psychotherapy, Divorce Well and Thrive® Coaching, Enlightened Communication™ courses + retreats for luminous living. www.yourinspiredchoices.com Mae Caime RN ,CINN Healthy Lifestyle Expert. aMAEzing Midlife and beyond. Mount Sinai, NY. Supporting, coaching woman to add zest, sizzle and sass to thrive versus survive. www.Amaezingmidlife.com Facebook amaezingmidlife Maria Guadalupe Lopez. Apapacho.Rosedale, MD. Have a Mexican experience first-hand at Fiesta Mexicana and Apapacho. Restaurant/Specialty Mexican Shop. www.fiestamexicanamd.com https://www.facebook.com/pamperingyoursoul 443 961 4964 Maria Petrucci, DC. Columbia, MD. Craniosacral Therapy, Chiropractic, and Mind-Body Tools to alleviate pain and stress. www.mariapetruccidc.com 240-394-2037 mpetrucci.dc@hotmail.com Marnie Simpson. Breakthrough Divorce Coaching. Jacksonville, FL. Helping Moms Navigate Breakup to Breakthrough www.breakthroughdivorcecoaching.com breakthroughdivorcecoaching@gmail.com Mary E. Knippel. Your Writing Mentor.Half Moon Bay, CA. Mentors authors - Written In Her Own Words Co-Author & Book Elite Women’s Writing Retreat. https://yourwritingmentor.com MentorMary@yourwritingmentor.com Mary Perry. Wings Unfurled. Sparrows Point, MD. I offer Intuitive Angel Readings and Healing Sessions. https://www.Wings-Unfurled.com Mary Scott. BusinessRiff. St. Louis, MO. Solve problems, connect resources, providing business concierge/consulting services. https://businessriff.com businessriff@gmail.com 917-628-6322 Mia Zachary. Elemental Abundance. Charlottesville, VA. Energy Balancing; Intuitive Counseling; Holistic Coaching. http://MentalDancing.com Olivia A. Jones, Independent Beauty Consultant. Mary Kay Cosmetics.Tallahassee, FL. My business offers opportunities to be your own boss, to earn the use of a company car, to experience facial products that help you look and feel your best. www.marykay.com/oajones Pam McFarland. Dragonfly Creative, LLC.Silver Spring, MD. Using writing as a tool in for growth and personal expression; workshops, coaching, memoir-writing. www.pammcfarland.com pammcfarland.01@gmail.com Pamela Hamilton-Stubbs, BSN, M.D, CNS. Dr. Hamilton-Stubbs Sleep and Total Wellness Institute, LLC. Richmond, VA. Double board-certified sleep physician and certified nutrition specialist offering Sleep and Wellness Coaching and online classes. http://www.drhamiltonstubbs.com Risa Lynch.Risa Lynch LLC.Charlottesville, VA.ASEA Redox distributor. Redox helps improve healing, energy, chronic issues, anxiety, sleep and much more. https://risalynch.myasealive.com/ risa@risalynch.com 757-619-1286 Rita Thomas. Rita Thomas Enterprises. Knoxville TN. I teach entrepreneurs to automate processes so that they make more money with less stress. www.RitaThomasEnterprises.com Info@RitaThomasEnterprises.com 865.326.3656 Ruthanne Warnick. Capture the Journey. Hillsboro, OR. Helping families turn stories into family treasures to connect the generations. https://capturethejourney.com Ruthanne@CapturetheJourney.com. 678-386-1651 Sahffi Lynne. Music is Medicine. Ellicott City, MD. Musician and Vocal Coach connecting hearts around the world. www.sahffi.com Shelly O’Connell. Coaching by Shelly. Martinez,CA.Flirting Coach for Women & Author of Finding Your Flirt. https://www.facebook.com/coachingbyshelly https://shellyoconnell.com Shelly Roman. Sacred Ground Walk, LLC. Sterling, VA. Author, Speaker, Trainer, Co-Walker™. Helping women return to the LIGHT, heal body and brain. www.sacredgroundwalk.com Dr. Sree Meleth. Freeing Ourselves. Atlanta, GA. Ihelp clients cultivate contentment by dropping self-judgement, lovingly integrating their shadow & flowing with life. https://www.instagram.com/freedomwithsree/ Sylvia Henderson. MindTeam Solutions, Inc. Olney, MD. Leadership and professional development. Meeting and retreat ideation and facilitation. https://MindTeamSolutions.com Tamara Robinson. Love Heals Coaching, LLC. Author and Passion & Pleasure Coach.Hanover, MD. Heal and connect with your desires, reclaim your pleasure and have more confidence. www.passionpleasurecoach.com Tammy Workman-Lopez. Sparks Hope Anxiety Relief & Wellness. Orlando, FL. Successfully relieve anxiety & negative thinking and have the personal & professional life you desire. www.SparksHope.Life.com Veronica Grey. National Campaign for Financial Literacy.Baltimore, MD. Free financial educational presentation and workshops. Text Veronica 443-929-1140. Veronica Grey. VG Total Care. Baltimore, MD. We focus on Financial Literacy through workshops and life coaching. vgtotalcare@gmail.com https://h9mwidat.pages.infusionsoft.net/ Vicki Ibaugh. Know You To Grow You. Orlando, FL. Personalized business coaching for women solopreneurs. www.KnowYouToGrowYou.com Vicki@KnowYouToGrowYou.com 407-342-4434
Join the On Purpose Woman Global Community.
Find out how.
This Detroit Girl By Darlene Grablowski
When I was a little girl growing up in Detroit, Michigan, I remember looking up at the sky from my front porch with a feeling of wonder, knowing that God’s love was around me. My childhood was interesting as I had been diagnosed with cerebral palsy. Although every cerebral palsy case is unique to the individual, by definition, cerebral palsy is generally characterized as a “neurological condition caused by brain damage before, during or after birth which affects body movement, muscle coordination and control, muscle tone, reflex, posture, and balance.” There may also be motor skill and speech impairments. My parents noticed I had difficulty walking when I was two, and took me to a doctor. I learned to walk using a belt around my waist with a long horizontal rope strung between two chairs. I was the second youngest of six siblings, so the household was filled with love, laughter, music, and continual activities. There were always numerous basketball games, football rallies, and Girl Scout meetings to attend. I loved being a Girl Scout with the many camping trips and outings. On our camping trips, our troop would camp inside buildings with bunk beds in the sleeping areas. The outhouses were unpleasant, but the campfires were spectacular. I remember hiking during camp outings and trying to keep up with the other scouts. It was so hard to keep up the pace with the others due to my cumbersome leg braces, so most times, I lagged behind with a scout leader. My brother and sisters all attended a Catholic school, grades first through eighth. We walked about a half a mile to school every day. My older sisters often pulled me along and encouraged me to walk faster, which was almost impossible with my clunky leg braces. Somehow, we always made the last bell before classes. The nuns were very strict about time and behaving properly. I remember a couple of swats on the hand with a ruler when I didn’t pay attention to what was being taught that day. Other times, the nuns would hold up a ruler to my school uniform to be sure the length was below the knee. I would often hike up my skirt to unacceptable levels when the nuns weren't looking. I felt the nuns were always watching me. As it turned out, most of the nuns were watching me. My dad was one of the parents on the Parish Council for the school, and he asked the nuns to look out for me. So, I never got away with too much. I also remember being the only handicapped child in the entire school. I was fairly shy and apprehensive of the two-story building with the large brick steps and heavy, solid doors. Inside, I would struggle daily to walk up the towering marble staircase. It felt like a lifetime before I reached the top of the steps. But I also remember a kind, compassionate priest who would help me up the steps. He always seemed to be there when I needed help. His big hand would engulf my little hand and sweep me up the steps. He called me his “little rose.”On those days, with his help, I didn’t need to worry about the last bell ringing before classes started. At the end of the first year, I told my mom I did not want to return to the school since the kids would often tease me about my gait, imitating how I walked or pointing in my direction, staring, and laughing. My mom responded by lifting my little body onto her lap. I cried long, hard sobs for a long time while my mom cradled my shaking body in her arms. The dinner burnt on the stove that night. In the end, I was told I needed to return to school, continue to the second grade, and finish grade school. After that fateful night, my brother secretly formed a posse with his neighborhood buddies to protect me. In time, I realized that all the berating was due to the ignorance of those who had chosen to humiliate me. So, I ignored them and held my head up high. I still cried occasionally, but I also knew in my heart that I was valued and loved. I understood that my situation would ultimately change, so I took one hurdle at a time, believing in myself until the storm passed. My family’s love also kept me strong. I felt that even though I was different, I was cherished by God and by people who loved me. My second year of grade school was different because of Sister Mary. She was tiny in stature but mighty. She was firm but taught with kindness. Sister Mary often sang to me, and her favorite song was “You Are My Sunshine.”Her song and her kindness made me feel like I could do anything. To be surrounded by all of God’s love through Sister Mary was so comforting. Although every day was a challenge, I looked forward to going to my second-grade class to learn from her. Sometimes, I would stay indoors for recess and draw or color because I couldn't run and play like the other children. My muscles were so tight and stiff that it was difficult to keep my balance and change positions quickly. When I did venture out for recess, I would stand against the chain link fence. Some of my classmates would talk to me, and I was grateful for their company. Our school was set up so that we had the same classmates until we completed our eighth year. Seeing each of my classmates grow and change until our eighth-grade graduation was interesting. When graduation day came, I felt on top of the world walking across the gymnasium stage to receive my diploma. Throughout my grade school years, I had various medical operations. I remember one operation to lengthen my heel cords. My dad later told me that the doctor who performed the surgery was a new doctor who had stepped in when the previous doctor died in a car crash the night before. The doctor assured my parents that after this surgery, I would not need to wear leg braces past my teen years. My parents took the chance, and I am forever grateful for that joint decision. The surgery was a success. I spent many nights at the Children’s Hospital of Michigan, trying to recover and get my strength back. My mom would often visit me in the hospital after dinner, and we played board games until visiting hours ended. I also talked to my roommates when I didn’t have any visitors. I remember one roommate who lost her entire family and her limbs in a car accident. The local news station came by to interview her. Through my closed curtain, I could hear the anguish and fear of a very young girl whose life changed in a moment. We kept in touch for a while, writing letters. In the end, she lived with her grandmother and was able to get all new prosthetic limbs and forge a new life for herself. When it was time for me to leave the hospital, I went home to recuperate. I spent most of my time listening to music, reading, or writing in my journal. Sometimes, my classmates would visit and bring homemade cards. I also spent time with my grandma and grandpa, watching television in my grandpa’s favorite chair and drinking apricot juice, which made all the rough edges smoother. After I healed from the numerous surgeries, I began physical therapy sessions. One of my exercises included walking between two steel bars. I disliked that exercise because it always took so long to get to the other end. I sometimes imagined that I was flying to the other end, instead of walking. My dad also continued my home exercises by stretching my muscles every night after dinner, using specific stretching exercises from the physical therapists to keep my muscles more pliable. As painful as the exercises were, they were also a tremendous benefit for me in the long run because I could move more freely without intense muscle pain. Toward the end of my recovery, my body felt stronger. Looking back on my early years, I realize those experiences shaped who I am today. I am a thriving, independent, positive adult who experiences life to the fullest. I will always have physical challenges, but I am grateful to God for his guidance and his placement of people in my life who have shown me abundant love and kindness throughout my journey. Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text
Darlene Grablowski is an author who loves spending time with her family and friends, reading, singing and volunteering her time at community events.
Join the On Purpose Woman Global Community
Do you often try to shoe-horn your personal life around your business obligations? The famous “rocks, sand, and a jar” parable (first shared by Stephen Covey in First Things First) is meant to teach people to put priority projects into their schedule first before filling in all the space around them with the smaller tasks and obligations. Still, the result is that people usually prioritize all their work/business tasks (big rocks) and leave the rest of their “life” to fill in around them (sand). This tends to work well in the short term, but eventually, everything starts feeling discombobulated. To-do lists just grow longer, and that ephemeral “work/life balance” feels more unbalanced than ever. Finding balance among all our competing priorities is critical to leading a fulfilling life, but how we approach it sometimes causes more problems than it solves. In my opinion, the very concept of “work/life balance” is flawed. “Balance comes from joining practicality with vision.” ~ Chögyam Trungpa I first read Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior by Chögyam Trungpa years ago, and despite not being in that particular religious tradition, I often return to the book for insights into being human. I have always particularly liked the phrase quoted above because it seems to apply to how I manage my personal goals. I think part of the reason I created the Personal Projects Management was to put that quote into practice. After all, one of the most endemic problems solopreneurs have is creating a balanced life. The whole “work/life balance” issue is pervasive, whether you are a business owner, a gig worker, or an employee. Time management systems and apps promise to help you “find more time in your day!” which I’m not sure is what we all need. We are bombarded by the concept of “work/life balance” all the time, leading most of us to assume that if we don’t have it, it's a problem of our own making. That is both true and false. Part of the issue is the nature of late-stage capitalism that demands that 110% of our lives be focused on business productivity, meaning it is a systemic problem you cannot personally fix. However, yes, there are ways to address “balance” in your life, even if most productivity advice tends to shove the “life” part of “work/life balance” to the background (maybe for your stay-at-home spouse to pick up? …yeah, I don’t live in the 1950s either!). The basic concept of a mythical “work/life balance” has been a part of productivity advice for as long as productivity advice has been around. One of the oldest “modern” productivity advice books, which was published in 1910, is How to Live on 24 Hours a Day by Arnold Bennett, and it has a lot to say about balancing work, “self- improvement,” and living a rewarding life (in charmingly antiquated language which makes it a fun, short read if you are so inclined!). Although, even then, it was advice to help the man being given the advice become a better, more productive worker. The phrase “work/life balance” has always bothered me, though, because it rests in the assumption that “work” is not part of “life.” That tracks for the patriarchal, industrialized world that has been around for a while now. Men went to work, and “life” was what happened at home with the wife and kids and pets and hobbies. For such men, the “work” part was easy to let become overpowering since, after all, that was all they were expected to do, and so much rested on them doing it well (financial security, social status, etc.). Then it became socially acceptable for women to work outside the home, and “work/life balance” took on a new dimension as families struggled to find quality relationship and personal time at home with all the adults working full-time jobs. The result is that these days, solopreneurs experience “work” as part of “life.” We are weaving a much more complex existence than simply balancing two very abstract concepts on the head of a pin. Instead, we should look to Chögyam Trungpa’s quote and arrange our schedules and to-do lists to balance “practicality” with “vision.” Of course, I think the principles of project management, as embodied in my Personal Projects Management method, are a neat way to do that, but honestly, if you are willing to sit down with those two factors in mind as you consider the path ahead of you, that might be enough. My friend and creativity coach Gina Edwards describes her role as coach to be both the “reality checker” and the “dream holder” for her clients. Being practical is an important part of any project you are managing, but having that dream, that vision of great things, is a critical piece for motivation and goal setting. Note: Be sure to check out Gina’s article on how to Boost Your Creativity, also in this issue. The best part of balancing your life by the principles of “practicality/ vision” instead of “work/life” is that you can apply principles to work, parenthood, relationships, art, or to your hobbies. It’s not about slicing your “life” off from your work but creating a life of balance between the poles of your reality and your dreams. An easy starting place for applying this philosophy is when writing out or sorting your to-do/task list for the day. As you go down the tasks you need to accomplish, consider how each practical item feeds your bigger dreams. Instead of weighing the time spent on “work” against the time spent on “life,” consider how “drive kids to dance lessons” fits into your goal of being a great parent. Or how “meet with app developer” boosts your dream of creating an app that helps improve people’s lives. Instead of desperately trying to balance a weighted scale every day, consider how you can tie your practical tasks to the big-picture vision of your life. You will be surprised to learn how much this changes your perspective on what “balance” means and how much easier it becomes to live a fulfilling, well-balanced life. xt Body text Body text Body text Body text
The Problem With “Work/Life Balance” By KimBoo York
KimBoo York is a former project manager and professional author turned productivity expert who helps women solopreneurs find work/life balance and business success by teaching the secrets of project management. As “The Task Mistress,” KimBoo gives women the tools to create holistic productivity in their lives and frees them from the shackles of their calendars and to-do lists. https://task-mistress.com/
Is Writing in the 3rd person dead? By Sofia Wren Nitchie
Are you writing a nonfiction story, article, or business content? If so, you may be asking yourself how to write it. Back in school, you were taught to write in the third person, but now you are writing something else, and you might wonder if that is still relevant. With AI writing technology becoming more popular, reader fatigue from seeing the same thing over and over will enter an all-time high. Writing exclusively in the third person is no longer a safe bet like it was when you were in school. If you've been writing in the third person, your writing may benefit from sprinkling in some other tenses to keep up with the latest trends! I'll share my experience discovering these trends and navigating them as a writer. For over twenty years, I've been publishing writing in blogs, magazines, and books. I've also been experimenting with writing on Medium in the last three months. The site Medium is an online publishing platform that allows anyone to share their stories and thoughts with the world. With more than 60 million monthly readers and over 3 million monthly writers from around the globe, it allows me to observe the latest writing trends. I suspect that Medium is a microcosm for the world with what people read, what they like, and why. When I began writing for Medium, I read articles by its most successful writers about how to write successfully on the platform. Almost every article I read mentioned sharing personal stories in first person and not limiting your writing to only third person. When you use the third person narrative voice, you tell a story from an outside point of view, using pronouns like they, he, she, and it. In first person, you tell a story from the point of view of the narrator, using I or we. In second person, you tell a story that speaks directly to the reader, like in a conversation, and addresses the reader as you. I have been sharing my experiences, telling my story in first person since childhood, and coaching others to do the same for ten years. But the question, is writing in the third person dead? came back to me repeatedly. I'd click on articles by writers unknown to me on Medium and notice my reactions to each story. Often, if somebody wrote an article in third person with no mention of its author, I began to feel skeptical. Did a robot write this? Many articles were written quickly using artificial intelligence rather than by actual experts on health, personal development, or other subjects. I noticed the articles written exclusively in third person bored me. I would only bother to read them if there was something remarkable about the writing style. Even then, I much preferred more colloquial writing that used first person and second person. Because I noticed such a strong preference, I began to agree with the articles I had read. I acted accordingly and found ways to shift the narrative voice away from the third person even more. When I changed my articles to be more personally focused, I noticed more people read them. The more I focused on sharing my point of view, and my experience, the more positive feedback I got. It's amazing how I can share the same content but use different pronouns, and people can like it more. People are more comfortable reading first and second person voices. It draws people in much more. Since I write to connect, that is a massive win for me! I invite you to participate in this experiment: 1. Pay attention to what you read in articles, social media, and more. What writing are you drawn to, and why? Does it matter to you if it's written in third person? 2. Find ways to share more about your personal experiences and lessons directly in first person rather than only writing in third person. People are interested in what you think. 3. If you have a recommendation to other people, try writing to the reader in second person. Using words like you rather than writing only in third person will be more direct. Introducing different narrative voices can be tricky, and nailing it is one of the things I often help people with as an editor. Here are a few things to watch out for: Be careful to avoid bouncing back and forth between narrative voices too quickly. Make sure you have a reason for any transitions from you to I to us to he or she. Try to keep your narrative voice consistent for several paragraphs or a chunk of the writing before you switch. Moving too often or too quickly between them can confuse your reader. Also, spiritual healers, coaches, and others who want to relay universal lessons should double-check your writing when using us. Make sure that your writing is tangible enough that people understand your point. Using the pronoun us in excess can become confusing. Share your personal experiences or other examples to help ground your message. The trend is that more readers are attracted to personal stories written in the first person voice and writing that speaks specifically to the reader in the second person voice. Writing in the third person narrative voice exclusively can create a disconnect for your reader. Dare to live a little and join the trend! Try writing more how you talk and less like an English paper. You are free to explore new ways to share what you know. Take your personal stories, write about them in first person, and make them useful for someone else in second person. And remember: It might feel uncomfortable at first, but you and your ideas matter! Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text
When I changed my articles to be more personally focused, I noticed more people read them.
Write for your book or business and put your damn calling out into the world. Coaching, courses & writing groups from your Mermaid fairy godmother, Sofia Wren Nitchie. https://flow.page/sofiawrencoaching
My mother began giving me her prescription pills when I was around 12 years old. She'd say, "this will just help to calm you down a bit and take the edge off." That's how she survived. More than ten years passed before she was diagnosed with schizophrenia and got the help she needed. Growing up, I'd see my dad sit down every evening for a drink. He called it an "attitude adjustment." My drinking began when I discovered that I could sneak booze. Some days I'd put liquor in my thermos and take it to school. It wasn't to be cool. I never told anyone. I just needed to numb myself out enough to get through the day. That's how bad my pain was at 12 or 13. I remember the feeling of warmth, fuzziness, and numbing that came with each drink or pill. Because of my parent's divorce, the sudden loss of family and friends, and living in isolation with a mother with severe untreated mental illness, my pain grew exponentially. Abuse increased as my mother focused her attention on the only person there with her - ME. She told me I was bad, evil, wrong, and even poison. And I made the only natural conclusion I could - something must be wrong with me! Many nights, I woke to my mother's voices, sometimes finding her standing over my bed saying, "I'll kill you; I'll kill you; I'll kill you now!" I heard it over and over in the night and sometimes in the daytime, too. I remained frozen, withdrawing as deep as I could into myself. I tried to be invisible. I prayed each night for someone to save me and that I would wake to see another day. I felt a sense of terror that is still sometimes hard to speak of. I wanted more than anything to call on my mother for protection, but instead, I found that I needed to protect myself from her. By my late teens, I was experiencing severe anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. Later, I would come to know this as PTSD. I had frequent migraines and other physical symptoms which could not be explained. I began to believe suicide was my only way out – contem- plating it often, attempting it twice. In college, my pain surfaced even more strongly; and my need to numb out intensified. I'd pass out and black out, often waking up not knowing where I was or who I was with. My health issues increased. Many days, I did not get out of bed. By age 20, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, which doctors told me was all in my head. I was offered painkillers and anti-depressants to cope with my "imaginary" symptoms. Still, I discovered a combination of alcohol, marijuana, and cocaine worked far better. After having to drop out of school, my depression was so deep that I had little will to live. I couldn't imagine going through life with this vast hole inside me. I felt like one day I would just fall in. I continued to fill that hole with alcohol, drugs, and anything else that could numb me. I was utterly lost and hopeless. Yet, there was something that kept me holding on. A deep inner longing in my soul to feel connected. This feeling had always been there, keeping me alive. In my 20's, I started studying different paths seeking that connection. I embraced Buddhism, Sufism, and Indigenous Traditions. I practiced yoga and meditation; and explored other holistic approaches. I went to therapy, too. I began to understand the impact of trauma on my life and worked hard to heal the root of my pain and addiction. As my pain began to lessen, my substance use did, too. I didn't know what recovery was or that I was even recovering. I was just focused on being out of pain, emotionally and physically, in more natural ways. Still, I had times when my pain arose so strongly that the hole inside of me would burst open, emerging like a tsunami trying to drag me back down into the dark abyss. Believing there was no real way out, I would slip back into drinking, using drugs, and other addictive behaviors. Although these feelings and patterns became less and less over time, they still recurred for many years. In my mid-30s, my path led me to visit a shaman who journeyed through a process called soul retrieval to reconnect a part of me that was lost. In Shamanism, an ancient form of spiritual healing, it is believed that a part of the human soul is free to leave the body and may do so to protect itself from threatening or dangerous situations, including trauma. The shaman reported that she found my inner 13-year-old hanging from the edge of a vast abyss by her fingertips, which were slowly slipping away. This was the feeling I had most of my life! Hanging by my fingertips, on the edge of a vast abyss, and slowly slipping away. I could feel her pain, terror, and the trauma that this part of me still carried. It was so immense; it felt like it could fill that vast chasm. As my healing continued through shamanic and holistic practices, I came to understand what I had experienced on a deeper level. I learned to reconnect and nurture my inner ones so that they could feel safe without my needing to numb out. And I discovered that healing the hole inside came through embracing and loving myself! In being willing to travel into the darkest places of my being, I was able to find my inner light and reclaim the true essence of who I am. A new life that I never imagined was possible emerged. My own healing journey led me to apprentice and become a shaman. I learned how to support others in reconnecting to heal their core wounds. Today, I feel blessed to be able to support others on their journeys of healing, transformation, and recovery through integrative shamanic healing and holistic practices. This is the gift of my past traumas and pain. The message I've learned through my journey is this,"You are already whole. You just need to remember." This is my brave! Note: This story is an adaptation of an original story presented at This Is My Brave Baltimore 2018. The mission of This Is My Brave is to empower individuals to put their names and faces on their true stories of recovery from mental illness and addiction. See my YouTube video above. Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text
From Numbness to Oneness Recovering Body, Mind & Soul by Beth Shekinah Terrence
...there was something that kept me holding on. A deep inner longing in my soul to feel connected.
Beth Shekinah Terrence is a Shaman and Transformational Facilitator. Her soul path is to help individuals, communities, and organizations deepen connection, cultivate compassion, and experience awakening. Learn more at https://bethterrence.com.
Ginny Robertson, Founder On Purpose Woman Community Founder / Editor On Purpose Woman Magazine
Checking Off Another Bucket List Item Offering a TEDx Talk By Edie Weinstein I consider myself a master manifester, or as a friend calls it, ‘manna-fester’ like manna from Heaven. This is a tried and true method that YOU can use too! I set my intentions, dream big, and go for it. I consider the idea of cultivating a garden. I choose the seeds I want to plant based on what the crop will be. If I want to grow watermelon, I don’t plant corn. I clear the land of weeds and broken pieces of disappointments, almosts, not quites and never happeneds. I pat down the dirt, water, add fertilizer, and beam sunshine on the below- the- surface little sprouts about to pop their heads up through the ground. They have taken the form of completing grad school, becoming a successful freelance journalist, interviewing His Holiness the Dalai Lama, and traveling to Ireland in 2018 to celebrate turning 60. Another was looming on the horizon, but I had no clue when it would arrive. I was certain that it would. The final component of the cultivation process is surrender. I needed to do that with the experiences I referenced above. I had applied to grad school and had to wait for the acceptance letter. I spent years reaching out to those who might arrange the interview with the icon of peace and compassion. I had to visualize the trip to the Emerald Isle until one day, the opportunity arose to board the flight and wing my way across the pond. From the moment I viewed, heart beating and saying “I’ll have what she’s having,” the 2009 TED talk by author Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love), called Your Elusive Creative Genius, I knew beyond all doubt that I would stand on what I called “the Big Stage” and express an “idea worth spreading,” which is the tagline for TED. The letters are an acronym for Technology, Entertainment, and Design. According to their website, “TED is a nonpartisan, nonprofit, devoted to spreading ideas, usually in the form of short, powerful talks. TED began in 1984 as a conference where Technology, Entertainment, and Design converged, and today covers almost all topics—from science to business to global issues—in more than 110 languages. Meanwhile, independently run TEDx events help share ideas in communities around the world.” I continued watching numerous talks over the years, contemplating what my own fantasy presentation would look like. Keep in mind that a TEDx talk isn’t improvised, nor are there notes or a teleprompter to catch the speaker if they stumble. It must all be committed to memory and presented AS IF it is spontaneous. Quite a feat. Life events had to happen in between; that included a heart attack in 2014, the founding of Hugmobsters Armed With Love that same year, and the journey of discovering both took me on. Hills and valleys, triumphs and tragedies, love and loss brought with them fuel for the fire that was kindled years earlier. In October of 2021, I was introduced to Cesar Cervantes, a stage performer, comic, teacher, coach, and he has stood on that ‘Big Stage’ three times. I also discovered that he is one of the most enthusiastic cheerleaders and yaysayers I have ever encountered. I knew that my investment of time, money, and energy working with him would reap grand rewards. He assisted me in crafting my talk called Overcoming the Taboo of Touch, helped me pitch the various stages I wanted to approach (my criteria were that it be driving distance from my home in Pennsylvania), revised, polished, and listened to me rehearsing over and over again. He helped me get through a massive case of Imposter Syndrome as I feared that I would majorly goof the finished product. Keep in mind that I am a seasoned speaker with more than four decades of experience. This felt different. In April of 2022, I received an email that had me both jumping for joy and gulping with trepidation. I opted to focus on the joy. It was from TEDx Faurot Pak in Lima, Ohio. They wanted me to join the other speakers from all over the country who were also chosen to present their passion projects. The topic was Humanity, and each represented our own human experiences gained over years of living. We spent the next six months meeting with the group and with our 1:1 coaches. I loved getting to know these amazing people and was eager to meet them hug to hug. As the time grew closer, I planned the trip with my best friend Barb, who I met when we were 14 and have seen each other through joys and sorrows. Even before I asked, she told me she was coming. Hotel reservations were made, a car was rented, and she even went shopping with me to choose an outfit to wear as I was to stand on stage. No sooner had I walked into the store than a coat of many colors leapt out at me, waving its sleeves, cajoling, “Pick me!” My nervousness increased as the months flew by. I told myself that my periodic cognitive blips would be my undoing. Then a message came through loud and clear. God, the Universe, Spirit would not have brought me to this point in order for me to flub this talk. I upped my game and my rehearsal strategy by practicing the talk in my sleep. My loving friends and family offered their support. When the day came for me to step on stage, it flowed beautifully, except for a technical glitch while we were doing the livestream. Four minutes into it, I needed to start from the beginning. Not missing a beat, I did just that and was delighted that I could remember all the words, since I had written them and they came from my life experience. Two months later, the talk has been viewed over 1500 times, and I would love to see it travel worldwide, encouraging people to connect heart to heart. Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text
Edie Weinstein, MSW, LSW, is a licensed social worker, interfaith minister, psychotherapist, journalist, book author, editor, speaker, PR and marketing person, as well as the founder of Hug Mobsters Armed With Love. www.opti-mystical.com
Subscribe to our wonderful magazine!
Click
Ads are due April 20.
This magazine is for women and by women. It's a force for good and I'm proud to be the creative director for it. You can help by sharing this magazine with your friends, posting it on social media, and talking about it in your communities. See you next time! Kathryn Yarborough, Creative Director
Look for our next issue May 1.
