Issue 55
FOREVER
1st June 2026
WITH PRIDE
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But something was missing.
Educated at West Virginia and Stanford Universities, phillips had an established career as a theatrical designer with international credits, painting and designing for Broadway, the Metropolitan Opera, and Las Vegas, among others.
Raised in West Virginia after a family tragedy, Phillips never expected to leave there. But talent and desire can sometimes blaze a trail.
John Jason Phillips
UltraSheen
There, he immersed his life in the queer culture, which was creating a world never before seen. He became a graphic designer and mural artist, creating numerous murals through the Castro area and elsewhere in the city.
His murals at The Grubstake Restaurant are celebrating their 50th anniversary this year; they are being considered for historical status by the city. And to make ends meet in an uncertain environment, he became a cab driver. Many years later, his memories of this experience would compel him to write.
The artist and novelist John Jason Phillips was born near Route 66 and spent most of his life trying to get back there. He now resides in Santa Fe, NM, which is close enough.
In the 1980’s, feeling a need to establish his authentic life as a queer man, phillips temporarily left the theatre world and moved to San Francisco.
While the books are fictional thrillers, the settings and characters are firmly rooted in the reality of the queer world of late-20th-century San Francisco.
The fifth volume,The Rose,will be published in the fall, with two more volumes to follow.
The passengers in Phillips’ cab and their experiences bring to life a milieu long gone, a dream turned nightmare that left too few to tell its story. And to that story, Phillips brings absolute authenticity.
Their relationship is established as they become entangled in the horror of the Red Hair Killer (Vol. One); produce a Las Vegas style drag revue in a neighborhood not warm to queer enterprises, while living in fear of a deranged academic killing drag queens to rid the city of its filth (Vol. Two); navigate their way through the courts, as UltraSheen stands trial for murder (Vol.
The first three volumes –The Last Days of the Barbary Coast, Queen of the MissionandQueen of Mystery –are available on Amazon, Google Books and Barnes & Noble.
The books follow the travels of the two main characters – Casey Johnson the cabbie and John Scott, the drag queen UltraSheen – as they try to succeed in this troubled environment.
In the late 70’s and during the 80’s, San Francisco was a troubled city.
The later volumes in the series will allow him to explore the times and lives of historical queer folk from the 1930’s to the 1980’s, while creating intense thrillers around them.
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Three) and create the world’s first queer detective agency (Vol. Four).
www.authorjohnjasonphillips.com
The assassination of Harvey Milk, the queer political icon; the rage of Jim Jones reaping the souls of some 800 Bay area residents in the jungles of Guyana; the riots of the queer community, after the killer of Milk was given a light sentence; the Zodiac Killer; political and cultural upheaval and a major cocaine epidemic – not to mention the rise of the scourge of AIDS – Pillips saw it all, up close, from behind the wheel of his cab. These experiences inspired his mystery series,The UltraSheen Mysteries.
The fourth,Queen City Investigations,will be published in the next two weeks; it will only be available on Amazon for the time being.
After a forced settlement in Kakuma Refugee camp, we had to form groups in order to survive and provide security to ourselves by living and sleeping in big numbers (at least 30 people per group).
As the leader of GREEN LIGHTS KAKUMA, I've spearheaded my group in terms of advocacy, awareness, activism and seeking for help around the world via social media platforms.
I fled Uganda after the government passed an anti-gay bill that included a death penalty once caught.
That was never a favourable environment for any human to live in. Just like many before me and even after me, Uganda and many other African countries actively hunting LGBTQ Community members to impose death on us.
The discrimination from the officials and the law enforcement and even fellow refugees. It's a mountain of daily trauma.
I eventually had to run out of the country, and the nearest country was Kenya. In the due process, I lost all my belongings, everything that belonged to me was burnt by the people of community on the order of the community leaders.
" WE are not registered by the government simply because Kenya government also is among the African Nations that are against the LGBTQ community just that they haven't enacted the bill by their parliament.
There is so much I can say about Kakuma Refugee Camp until morning comes if given a chance.
The day by day social injustices on LGBTQ refugees and asylum seekers.
I became a leader of just one group, and I started a community based Organization called "Green Lights Kakuma.
Hello, I am Samuel Jalal, 29 years old, Gay (cis Male). I'm a Ugandan by Nationality. I currently live in Kenya as an asylum seeker.
I then realised it was time to flee from mob justice as I've ever seen it happen to a fellow LGBTQ member.
I'm currently in Kakuma Refugee Camp, it's been a place of residence for the past 5 years of my life.
It's really clear that our hands are quite tied. So, all I do is talk about these things, post about them, reach out to individuals asking them to help create awareness about the cruelty LGBTQ refugees are facing.
It's such a tough thing to do but with the will to survive and hopefully believing that we will one get to leave the harsh environment we are in.
Regardless of the odds being against us in most cases, I cannot afford to just sit and watch, I try my level best reaching to organizations, individuals, asking to help extend our voices of cry for help to the rest of the world.
Lack of shelters and all sorts of basic needs, sanitary pads for our sisters, milk for babies and toddlers.
So please, if you get to see this or read this, please share, comment, repost, like, it really means a lot to many of us here.
Text
The authorities and the law enforcement has and is always siding with the homophobic refugees and officials.
I greatly appreciate your efforts and time reading this Article. May Joy and Love be with you and your families.
One thing for sure is that life is close to impossible for LGBTQ community refugees, there are a myriad of attacks against us on a daily basis. Worst case scenario, no Justihas ever prevailed on our end.
Thank you Samuel Jalal
spoutible.com/SamiePsalm21
Lack of food and health support is one of the issues that has bothered is over the years.
This kind of situation has had us wishing for a miracle over the years, and we are still waiting because the miracle hasn't happened yet. But we are still hoping, holding onto what I regard to as "UNSTOPPABLE HOPE."
After hearing the first-hand account of an Irishman who lived through the London AIDS crisis, we realised how little of this specific experience had been captured, and how easily a legacy like this can be lost to time if we don't work to preserve it.
Mammy’s House: Untold Irish LGBTQ+ AIDS Play
Our goal is simple but ambitious: to bring an authentic, quality production of Mammy's House to the London stage this September. We're proud to already have initial backing from the Emigrant Support Programme through the Embassy of Ireland, GB. Their support has helped to set the stage, now we need your help to light it.
Aim Help us stage the first run of Mammy’s House: a play honouring Irish queer resilience in London during the 1980s AIDS crisis.
co-creator). This project started with a single conversation.
We want to create a space where the Irish diaspora and the LGBTQ+ community can see their shared history reflected with dignity, humour, and truth. We wish to establish this story in the theatrical canon so that these vital voices are never deemed "disposable" ever again.
Thanks to the generosity of the Irish Emigrant Support Programme, we’ve spent the last two years in Research & Development, bringing to life a script that feels as authentic as the people who lived through this time. We've documented the story, it's now time to bring it to the stage.
We are Amy Clarke (writer & co-creator) and Derek Murphy (producer &
How We Got Here
While Ireland remained bound by shame, and homosexuality was a criminal offence, thousands of Irish gay men and lesbian women crossed the Irish Sea in search of freedom, where they faced a whole new, unforeseeable challenge. Mammy’s House captures this moment of tension where liberation was shadowed by fear.
We saw a gap in our history. A"double exile"of being queer and Irish in a city that wasn't always welcoming to its Irish residents. We aren't just devising a play; we're documenting a community that was almost lost to silence.
Bursting with Irish humour and queer resilience, it's a testament to the small acts of love that become lifelines when the world declares you are disposable.
Camden, 1985. A chaotic terraced house that smells of hairspray, burnt toast, and sarcasm. Inside, a small, queer Irish household has built a world of their own. While their community is on the verge of a disaster it can't begin to imagine, Mammy’s house is filled with bickering, unfinished chores, laughter, and more glitter than is strictly legal.
Mammy’s House is about the families we build when the ones we were born into cannot accept us.
Crowdfunder link:
Finally, there's the ghost of Mammy's past, who lives on in his daily guilt, greeting every visitor who crosses the threshold.
Amy Clarke Writer
There’s Nellie, a new resident who's all sparkle, noise and flammable wigs. Then Mags, a long term staple of the house whose stoic approach to life will be relied on more than they know.
It's a story of the people who survived, those who didn’t, and the walls that held them all.
Mammy never meant to be anyone's guardian, but he’s ended up with a house full of runaways he can’t help but feel responsible for.
The Story
IT'S TIME TO TELL THEIR STORY.
Derek Murphy
www.crowdfunder.co.uk/p/mammys-house ---untold-aids-history-of-irish-lgbt#
Mammy's House
What follows is six years of ordinary life lived under extraordinary pressure. As the AIDS crisis envelops them, testing loyalties and exposing old wounds, the household is forced to face the very things they’ve been seeking sanctuary from.
Studies continue to show LGBTQ+ individuals, particularly youth, are disproportionately represented within the homeless population and often face additional barriers when seeking safe housing and supportive services.
For many LGBTQ+ youth and adults, the risk of homelessness is even greater due to rejection, isolation, and lack of affirming support systems.
Reimagining Community: A Healing-Centered Approach to Homelessness
By Rev Mylee “Star” Hawk Founder, Unity Grove Cooperative
Homelessness is not simply the absence of housing. It is often the result of trauma, systemic failure, poverty, family rejection, untreated mental and physical health struggles, domestic violence, aging out of foster care, discrimination, and the breakdown of community itself.
Our vision includes both urban and land-based cooperative environments designed to support individuals as they rebuild stability while reconnecting with themselves and others.
. community kitchens and farm-to-table programs . Expressive arts and healing-centered education . mentorship and leadership development . cooperative business opportunities . workforce and life-skills training . wellness and mindfulness programs . intergenerational community support . inclusive environments where people feel seen and respected
We envision spaces where individuals have access not only to safe and supportive housing, but also:
Unity Grove Cooperative is being developed as a trauma-informed, healing-centered cooperative model that integrates housing, education, wellness, sustainability, expressive arts, and workforce development into one interconnected community system.
At Unity Grove Cooperative, we believe the solution to homelessness must go beyond emergency response. People do not heal simply because they are handed a roof. Human beings also need dignity, belonging, purpose, safety, creativity, and community.
We believe people heal best in environments that encourage connection, creativity, accountability, and shared purpose. Through cooperative models, residents can participate in shaping the very communities they live within, helping transform isolation into belonging and survival into opportunity.
As someone who has spent decades working within community programs, education, hospitality, and trauma-informed spaces, I have seen firsthand how many people are struggling not because they lack value, but because they have lacked stable and supportive environments in which to heal and grow.
Our goal is not to create dependency, but empowerment.
Healing happens when people are given safety, dignity, opportunity, and the chance to belong again.
To learn more about Unity Grove Cooperative and our ongoing work, please visit:
unitygrovecooperative.org/
“It’s crazy because diet is probably the biggest factor in changing your body,” he says. “But people assume they already know how to eat properly.”
Initially, he worked solely as a nutritional coach. But he quickly realised most people looking to transform their body automatically assumed they needed a personal trainer.
“At times I feel like a personal trainer, nutritional coach and therapist all rolled into one,” he laughs.
Matt aka The Gay Body Coach
To bridge that gap, he pivoted into personal training himself.
Matt Jones doesn’t waste much time pretending to be anything other than what he is.
Jones speaks quickly and analytically. His background is in science, having graduated with a degree in medical biochemistry before later specialising in nutrition.
His job is helping gay men get fitter, leaner and stronger, without the extremes and confusion that often dominate the fitness industry.
Online, he’s known simply as The Gay Body Coach - and the name is refreshingly straightforward.
Jones credits James Clear’s bestselling book, Atomic Habits, with fundamentally changing how he approached fitness and coaching.
Ironically, fitness had not always come naturally to him.
he explains. “If those areas aren’t optimised, you’re making the process far harder than it needs to be.”
Changing human behaviour is the hard part.”
The same principle applies to nutrition.
“I also looked seriously at sleep and stress management because they massively affect your body composition and consistency,”
“By that point I already loved the gym and had been training consistently for years, so it made sense.”
“Knowing what to do is one thing,” he says. “Implementing it is much more difficult.”“A lot of what I actually do is behaviour change. Meal plans are easy.
Today, his coaching philosophy centres around what he calls “progressive scheduling” - introducing small, manageable behaviours before gradually building upon them over time.
“If something feels too difficult, people avoid it. But once a habit becomes embedded into your lifestyle, increasing it becomes much easier.”
“We start ridiculously easy,” he explains. “Sometimes that’s literally three press-ups a day.”
Still, he believes information alone rarely changes people.
But he insists exercise and nutrition were only part of the equation.
“Like a lot of people, I’d had gym memberships in the past that I barely used. It wasn’t until my late thirties that I finally built a proper routine that became automatic.”
That routine eventually led to his own transformation. Jones cleaned up his diet, trained regularly and reduced his body fat to below 12%, losing more than 25 pounds in the process.
“It really helped me understand that relying on motivation and willpower is a terrible long-term strategy,” he says. “Habits are much more reliable.”
His scientific background allowed him to dive deeply into the research surrounding what he calls the four pillars of health: diet, exercise, sleep and stress management.
“That might mean gradually increasing protein intake or getting someone to eat a wider diversity of plant foods instead of trying to overhaul everything overnight.”
“It’s not. It’s about building a lifestyle you can realistically sustain.”
“It’s my lived experience,” he says plainly. “I understand the community, the pressures and the relationship many gay men have with their appearance and ageing.”
For more information, visit: www.gaybodycoach.com/challenge/
“People think transformation is about motivation,” he says.
“The only comparison I encourage clients to make is with their previous selves.”
Now, through his recently launched free 14-day challenge, Jones hopes to introduce more people to the same sustainable approach that transformed his own life and coaching philosophy.
So why specifically focus on coaching gay men?
Ultimately, Jones believes most people fail not because they lack information, but because they attempt to change everything at once.
He believes social media and dating apps have intensified those pressures dramatically.
That philosophy has earned him clients across the UK and abroad, along with a growing online audience of gay men searching for a healthier alternative to crash diets and quick-fix fitness culture.
“People constantly compare themselves to highly curated versions of other people.”
“Instagram and Grindr are terrible for promoting unrealistic aesthetics,” he says.
Women from around the world submit their names to be drawn into a piece of artwork. Women submit their names via my website which currently includes more than 1,800 names from over 25 countries.
What started as graffiti on the walls of a fictional lesbian bar toilet has somehow escalated into an international archive of sapphic love, relationships and emotionally significant bathroom vandalism.
Historically speaking, queer women haven’t exactly been well documented unless somebody was trying to ban us or diagnose us.
I’m Sarah McCaffrey, a queer artist from Lancashire and the creator of Caffer’s Art and The Women Who Love Women Archive, an ongoing participatory art project documenting women who love women through illustrated scenes set in queer spaces.
Some people submit as couples, some as throuples, and some submit their own name simply because they want proof lesbians existed beyond Subarus and carabiners.
Sarah McCaffrey
Names scratched into walls, phone numbers, lipstick messages, and declarations of love written after three vodkas. Bathrooms are basically the unofficial libraries of queer women.
What struck me most was how emotional people became over something so simple.
I want to create an artistic recorded history of women who love women that feels human, accessible and honest.
I expected maybe a few replies. Instead, hundreds of women from around the world started sending me their names and at some point, my inbox became less “artist enquiries” and more “international lesbian census”.
Although there’s a lot of humour in my work, there’s also a serious intention behind it.
They wanted something so they could feel seen.
The scenes I’ve created so far have been set inside the bathroom of a lesbian bar because these are the places where people naturally leave pieces of themselves behind.
They're names are now out there in the world and that is historic, even if they have chosen to keep their sexuality private from their friends and relatives.
I received messages from couples asking privately if they could be in the artwork as they weren't out to their friends and family yet.
It all started when I drew a picture of a woman sitting in a toilet cubicle and asked people on social media to send me names of couples that I could draw onto the walls.
It's a way to feel seen and declare your love to the world whilst it still feeling like a private love letter.
That became the heart of the archive for me.
At its core, The Women Who Love Women Archive is about reminding people that even a name written on a bathroom wall carries a story.
Because one day, all of those names and stories become history.
Drawing became something that gave me purpose again, although admittedly not everyone would define “drawing 1,800 lesbians onto toilet walls” as a sensible career path.
Outside of creating artwork, I independently run my own website, build free LGBTQ+ resource databases, and sell my work online and at markets and Pride events across the UK, where I spend a surprising amount of time explaining to elderly passers by why there are so many boobs on my stall.
Readers can explore the archive, submit names to future artworks, and browse my LGBTQ+ artwork and prints through www.caffersart.co.uk or follow me on Instagram and TikTok via @caffersart.
Alongside the archive, I create colourful LGBTQ+ artwork inspired by sapphic culture, feminism and dry humour.
My work often mixes bright visuals with surreal ideas, including scissoring blow up dolls, women surfing on tampons and artworks dedicated entirely to boobs and vulvas, which is either a strong artistic direction or a cry for help.
I returned to drawing in 2022 after more than twenty years away from art when ongoing back problems forced me to slow down and rethink my life.
Real history is often messy, it’s graffiti in bathroom stalls, names carved into tables and someone writing “Claire loves Jen forever” next to a badly drawn boob.
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For Océane, the brand is a vehicle for active allyship. She uses her relationships with London’s premier venues to ensure the LGBTQ+ community is a central part of the city’s most iconic hospitality landmarks.
For Océane Krügel, the concept of hospitality has always been about community. As the founder of Joyeux Bordel, Océane has spent her career navigating the intersection of high-end events and intentional connection, but her roots in the queer community go much deeper than her professional resume.
Océane grew up within the queer community, and that inspiration came from the incredible gay men in her life, who taught her the importance of community and self-expression. It was through these relationships that she learned that a space isn’t just defined by its four walls, but by how welcome and seen people feel within them.
Océane Krügel
That vision became Joyeux Bordel (translated as “Merry Chaos”). Founded as a residency-based community, Joyeux Bordel moves away from the digital noise and back into physical spaces through intimate dinner parties, gallery nights, and curated after-works.
Océane’s professional trajectory has been defined by this search for atmosphere and connection. Before launching Joyeux Bordel in 2023, she built a solid reputation within London’s social and branding circles, working on events and branding at Inner Circle and The Box Soho.
It was during her time at these institutions, balancing the high energy of Soho nightlife with the precision of premium dating events, that she realised she wanted to use her expertise to give back to the community she has loved for so long.
Rather than a standard discount book, the Pride Pass is an "insider" tool. It unlocks over £1,500 worth of curated privileges throughout the month of June, from complimentary champagne on arrival to off-the-menu culinary treats.
It is a way to ensure that while guests are enjoying a night out at a top-tier bar, they are also contributing to making someone else’s life safer.
This June, that mission takes its most tangible form yet with the launch of The Pride Pass.The Pride Pass is a digital key designed to live in a phone’s wallet, acting as a curated invitation to explore the city.
Ultimately, Océane’s work with Joyeux Bordel is proof that when hospitality is approached with a genuine soul and professional expertise, it creates a community that people actually want to be a part of. One that is elevated, inclusive, and unmistakably joyful.
For Océane these perks are about recognition; it’s a way for pass holders to walk into the city’s top venues and feel immediately looked after.
Océane has hand-selected a roster of partners that reflects the diversity of London’s best spots, spanning from the legendary, artist-designed interiors of Sketch and the playful house-party vibe of The Little Scarlet Door, to fabulous queer-owned gems like the BOYS! BOYS! BOYS! Gallery Café and the vibrant, Latin-inspired Paladar.
Beyond the perks, the initiative is rooted in social responsibility. Océane has decided that a portion of the proceeds from every Pride Pass sold will be donated directly to The Outside Project. As the UK’s first LGBTIQ+ crisis shelter and community center, they provide a vital lifeline for the community’s most vulnerable members.
Follow the journey: discover upcoming dinner parties and secret residencies on Instagram: @heyjoyeuxbordel or connect with Océane on Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/oceanekrugel Say hello: Océane and the team are always looking for new partners and community members. Reach out at: hello@heyjoyeuxbordel.com
How to Engage Secure The Pride Pass: visit www.heyjoyeuxbordel.com to view the full partner roster and secure your Pride Pass.
A curious look crossed his face. ‘Why do you ask?’
‘This is the first timewe’vemet,’ he smirked, ‘but my twin comes here sometimes.’
‘It’s just… you look familiar.’
It was a particularly quiet evening at the Greenhouse Sauna in Darlaston.
‘Nice to meet you,’ I called out, as he left. ‘Give my regards to your family.’
We parted ways in the locker room.
Hear it first hand from the secondcity @ www.talesofthesecondcity.com
‘I clearly have a type,’ I grinned, ‘as do you and your brother, apparently.’
Tales of the Second City – Misadventures on Birmingham's Gay Scene
We clocked each other across the misty stream room.
Entwined on a bunk, I had a vague feeling of deja vu.
I was concerned that I may have caused offence by not fully recalling a previous encounter.
He smiled, dropped his towel, and we promptly headed to a private cubical.
That was thePornHubfantasy ticked off my bucket list, just not the way I’d imagined.
My friend was right; it does only take one… or two… one at a time.
Two For Joy
That would explain it. A case of Deja deux.
I wasn’t expecting a tag team.
But… as a friend is fond of saying, “It only takes one”.
One hot guy did make the visit worth the entrance fee.
‘Sorry, but have we done this before?’
He was fit, handsome, and passionate, yet mildly self-conscious of a discreet hair patch, covering his premature bald spot. I assured him I wouldn’t have noticed had he not drawn it to my attention, and if I wasn’t looking directly down at the top of his head.
Access to food, clean drinking water, healthcare, shelter, and protection remains limited for refugees generally, but LGBTQI+ individuals face additional discrimination and barriers.
Finding Strength in the Shadows: LGBTQI+ Refugees Surviving in South Sudan By Abraham Kasisi (Abrina), 32, a transgender refugee and community leader from Uganda currently living in Gorom Refugee Settlement Camp, South Sudan.
For many people around the world, being LGBTQIA+ may still come with challenges, but for Queer refugees in Africa, it can mean losing everything: family, safety, education, employment, dignity, and even the right to exist openly.
In Gorom Refugee Settlement Camp, South Sudan, hundreds of LGBTQI+ refugees and asylum seekers continue to face unimaginable hardships every day. Most of us escaped persecution from our home countries because of our sexual orientation, gender identity, or expression.
Carrying these traumatic experiences, many arrived in South Sudan hoping for safety, only to discover that life inside refugee settlements can still be dangerous and deeply isolating.
Transgender women, gay men, lesbians, bisexual people, queer youth, and people living with HIV are frequently targeted with harassment, verbal abuse, exclusion, and violence.
Many flee countries where homosexuality and gender diversity are criminalized, where mob violence, forced marriages, arrests, and abuse are common realities. Seeking refuge should mean protection and hope, yet for many LGBTQI+ refugees, displacement often leads to another cycle of fear, exclusion, and uncertainty.
Some were attacked by communities, abandoned by families, expelled from schools, or denied employment opportunities simply because of who they are. Others survived imprisonment, torture, blackmail, or threats from authorities and extremist groups.
Some community members struggle to access humanitarian services because of stigma, while others are forced into unsafe living conditions that expose them to further risks.
Through this article, I hope readers understand that LGBTQI+ refugees are part of the global human family and deserve the same dignity, freedom, safety, and opportunities as everyone else.
One of the greatest challenges facing LGBTQI+ refugees in South Sudan is the lack of international attention and adequate humanitarian support. Many systems are not fully equipped to address the unique protection, health, and mental health needs of displaced LGBTQI+ communities. Trauma, depression, anxiety, and hopelessness are widespread after years of persecution, displacement, and uncertainty about the future.
Much of this work happens quietly because visibility itself can place us at risk. In many situations, speaking openly about LGBTQI+ rights or gathering publicly can expose individuals to threats or violence. Yet remaining silent would allow our realities to remain invisible.
We are more than statistics or headlines. We are human beings with dreams, identities, talents, and futures worth protecting. Together, even in the shadows, we continue finding strength, resilience, and hope.International solidarity can make a meaningful difference in our lives.
Despite these hardships, resilience continues to grow within our community. Through the LGBTQI+ Refugees and Asylum Seekers Network, we organize peer support, emergency response, mental health outreach, HIV awareness, temporary shelter support, and humanitarian assistance for vulnerable LGBTQI+ refugees and asylum seekers. We also document human rights concerns and advocate for dignity, inclusion, and equal protection.
Small acts of support, advocacy, fundraising, partnerships, and awareness help vulnerable LGBTQI+ refugees access food, safe shelter, clean water, medical care, mosquito nets, hygiene supplies, and emotional support.
We are not asking for pity. We are asking for humanity, protection, inclusion, and the opportunity to live safely and freely like everyone else.LGBTQI+ refugees in South Sudan exist, survive, and continue resisting despite unimaginable hardships.
Still, hope remains alive. Every act of solidarity reminds us that we are not alone. Storytelling is one of our most powerful tools because sharing lived experiences challenges stigma, humanizes refugee realities, and creates connections across borders.
Many grassroots refugee-led organizations like ours operate with limited resources while trying to respond to urgent humanitarian crises affecting displaced queer people. We continue supporting one another because survival depends on community care, courage, and collective action.
Our voices matter, our experiences matter, and our lives matter. We hope the world continues listening, standing with us, and helping create safer futures for displaced LGBTQI+ communities everywhere.
Support & Solidarity, GoFundMe Direct fundraising support Givebutter Campaign Community-led initiative Washington Blade article International LinkedIn .
Even during uncertainty and hardship, we continue believing in compassion, justice, equality, and the possibility of lasting positive change worldwide for all.
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LinkedIn
He emerged as a prominent openly gay student leader during a period when LGBTQ+ visibility was extremely limited and homophobia was widespread.
His work has included training senior staff in local authorities and providing expert witness testimony to the Women and Equalities Committee in Parliament about LGBTQ+ inequalities in the care sector.
Widely known as “Jag” during his student years, Jim became a well-known and popular figure at the Liverpool Institute of Higher Education (LIHE), later Liverpool Hope University, serving as its first openly gay Student Union President between 1979 and 1982 during which he increased disabled access, campaigned for women’s safety and wrote the Unions new constitution.
Jim Glennon CIPD is a gay man who has managed people, projects, research, and policy within leading LGBTQ+ organisations, while advocating for LGBTQ+ rights throughout his career.
Jim Glennon CIPD
During his time at college, he was physically assaulted by members of the Institute rugby club and targeted as ‘deviant’ during several student high-profile student leadership campaigns.
Despite this, he developed significant support among the student body and was elected both President of Christ College Student Union and later President of the Liverpool Institute Student Union.
As the elected Student President, he was expected to greet and welcome Pope John Paul II during his historic visit to Liverpool, but he publicly refused citing the Catholic Church’s condemnation of homosexuality from the pulpit and opposition to women’s rights.
He was also an early volunteer on the Terrence Higgins Trust helpline and later became a specialist helpline staff adviser, supporting gay men dying from AIDS before effective medical treatments became available, and at a time when homophobia within parts of the health service often worsened the experiences of those living with the disease.
His work included training Rebekah Wade, Editor of The Sun, and her editorial team in mental health awareness following widespread criticism of the newspaper’s discriminatory coverage of boxer Frank Bruno and his mental health struggles.
In his forties, Jim went on to build a long-standing career as an Equality, Diversity and Inclusion (EDI), HR, and training consultant
Jim refused. He publicly challenged the institution’s interference with student union democracy and became increasingly outspoken on LGBTQ+ issues in Liverpool media, radio and local TV.
He increasingly specialised in LGBTQ+ issues and was recruited as Training and Policy Director for the older people’s LGBTQ+ charity Opening Doors London, where he worked for five years.
After leaving college, Jim moved to London and became one of the first managers of the LGBTQ+ charity, London Friend Counselling, coordinating free LGBTQ+ helplines, counselling services, and support groups for people across the capital who were struggling with issues relating to their sexual orientation or gender identity.
Following his election, the institution’s hierarchy asked him not to take the position up, citing concerns about “damage to the college culture and upset to student families, because of his known gay identity.”
He also designed and delivered the first LGBTQ+ quality accreditation programme for the care sector — Pride in Care — which remains in use today, alongside specialist care-planning and assessment training for care homes, domiciliary care agencies, and local authorities.
Jim Glennon
Four years ago, Jim assembled a team of LGBTQ+ training and HR professionals — including a lesbian woman, a gay man, a bisexual woman, a woman with trans history, and a queer man — to provide affordable LGBTQ+ inclusion training, both face-to-face and online.
During this time, he commissioned research into the experiences of older LGBTQ+ people during the COVID-19 pandemic, identifying high levels of loneliness and social isolation.
Their work was underpinned by a national accreditation programme www.prideukqualitystandard.com enabling HR professionals to build the knowledge, confidence, and skills needed to strengthen LGBTQ+ inclusion in the workplace.
All of Jim’s work has demonstrated a deep commitment to equity, diversity, and inclusion and he has lived in the heart of Brixton for more than 35 years, the last fifteen years with his Civil-Partner James, bringing them both into daily contact with one of the most diverse communities in the UK.
June 2026
I say that because a lot of the so-called weeds are native plants that pollinators thrive on.
In and outside of the greenhouse don’t forget to remove the sideshoots from your tomatoes else you will end up with lots of leaves and no flowers and no tomatoes.
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This doesn’t apply to the bush varieties. Allow plenty of space between the plants in the greenhouse for air circulation.
Of course, the term weed is only used to refer to a plant that is out of place – not been cultivated.
Letting nature take its course and it will attract caterpillars that turn into beautiful native butterflies, bees and lots of other nature into your garden.
Unfortunately, of course that includes weeds so expect to see them in large numbers.
If you want to help them it’s a good idea to set a piece of your garden aside for re-wilding.
Gay Gardeners UK, Plants, Seeds and surplus Exchange Group
Don’t try and cram too many in else it will encourage Botrytis.
I don’t know about ‘Flaming June’ but we certainly had a hot finish to May this year. We had everything to contend with in May from frosts and lots of rain to baking hot temperatures.
The experts reckon this is what we have to contend with going forward, more unseasonal weather and more extremes.
This month the light quality is amazing and the plants will respond with lots of growth if they can get enough water.
Don’t be surprised if you get the occasional visitor such as a nesting bird or a sleeping cat.
Ponds are great for birds also, we’ve been told not to feed the birds due to spreading
Placing them in mesh containers helps keep them stable and stops them taking over the pond.
Planting salad crops around large spaced-out plants such as dahlias and tomatoes will give you an additional crop. Lettuce and radishes are good for this.
Don’t forget to feed your plants, flowering plants and fruiting ones such as tomatoes, cucumbers and peppers all need higher potassium feed so look at the bottle or packet and it will tell you the percentages of nitrogen, potassium and phosphate.
Left – side shoots on a tomato plant that need removing. They should come off easily if twisted to one side with a finger and thumb. Right – perfect salad lettuce maturing around the edge of a planter with a Dahlia so making the most of available space. The Dahlia will fill the planter by the end of the season.
For houseplants that don’t flower, a higher nitrogen feed should be used. One proprietary feed suitable for flowering plants will do fine for all your needs in the garden and greenhouse to promote more flowers and fruits to form. No need to buy lots of different ones.
Adding mulch to borders is a great way to preserve water in the soil and reduce the need for a hosepipe. No doubt if this weather keeps up we will have more hosepipe bans as these seem to be an annual event.
You are allowed to keep topping up your pond though if you have fish – I say that just in case.
viruses but the small pond can be a lifeline for them as well as attracting insects such as dragonflies, pond skaters and lots of others.
This reduces the stress on the grass and less chance it will scorch and go brown. If patches die off that’s when you get weeds coming in and spoiling your nice lawn.
For your lawns it’s a good idea to have a sprinkler for your hosepipe. To reduce the need for so much water you can leave the grass a bit longer when cutting.
That will help you as well as the plants.
Water in the early morning and if necessary again in the evening so as to avoid the hottest times of the day.
You can propagate pond plants during the summer simply by dividing them.
You may have to be ruthless with oxygenators as they grow very quickly and may need chunks removing during the summer but they do provide good shade for any fish you may have.
This hot weather I will leave my greenhouse door open as the night time temperatures are fine for your plants.
It protects the wood from the worst of the weather plus it looks better as if it has been newly fitted.
Lots of plants can be fitted in here and this year I’ve seen some very early flowering Roses in full bloom.
- Plant of the Month -
Lilies come in most colours and will come back year after year but be careful with Arums in particular as some of them will need lifting in the autumn as they are frost tender.
They get cleaned and it also removes the slippery green algae so it’s better to walk on.
Left – two colours of Stargazer Lily but they also come in yellow and more spotted patterns on very strong stems so great for cut flower arrangements. Left – just one of the Arum Lily colours. They come in a whole range of colours but are frost tender so the bulbs need a frost-free place in the winter. Great in pots.
Similarly, pressure wash your pavers and they will come up amazingly well.
Often we think of those starting to flower in June.
Be careful out there, your assets won’t get frozen but you just might get too much sun this weather or get attacked by insects, these aren’t the sort of bites or attention you might be looking for so take precautions!
Stargazer Lilies will flower in June giving an impressive display with no need for staking.
If you didn’t get chance at Easter to pressure wash and or stain your decking, now is a good time to do it.
Any holes in the leaves will likely be down to the Lily beetle that is bright red. You can pick these off if you have the patience and don’t want to use chemicals.
Make sure those assets are used to their very best and given plenty of air!
Either way no damage will be done but be careful not to trap them in if you decide to close the door.
I was born near Newcastle-upon-Tyne in 1967 and if I’m honest, I knew I was different from around the age of five. At that age I couldn’t understand what those feelings meant only that something about me felt different from everyone else.
Coming out later in life was both liberating and life changing. Like many people in the LGBTQ+ community the journey brought challenges losing some friendships, work colleagues and family connections along the way, but it also brought clarity. I realised that authenticity matters more than acceptance from others.
My children have been incredibly supportive when I came out. Their love and acceptance have meant more to me than words could ever express.
I got involved with the company LGBTQ ERG and eventually took on a role as a Worldwide LGBTQ+ ERG Operations Manager for the company, supporting inclusion work around the globe including organising host speakers, education and organising pride events like pride picnics and more.
In my final year in Ireland, I was grooming six cats one day a week for a busy Dublin salon while still working full-time as a Strategy Planner.
My final corporate role was as a Strategy Planner supporting a remarkable $15 billion equipment installation programme.
Nine years ago, I bought a Persian Chinchilla cat and quickly discovered there was a severe shortage of cat groomers within a two-hour drive of where I worked in Ireland. Curious and determined I trained in cat grooming and styling, eventually gaining my Level 3 certification over a period of 3 months all to avoid a 4hr round trip, but really for the love of properly grooming my cat.
By the age of 12, I had already experienced just how difficult being “different” could be. I faced challenges that no child should have to endure and had to fight for my very existence because I did not fit what society expected. Like many people of my generation, survival often meant learning to hide parts of yourself.
Life took me on a journey far beyond the North East, working across Europe, the Middle East and the USA as a Field Service Engineer. It was a role that demanded electrical, chemical, mechanical and software engineering expertise installing highly complex machines worth up to $10 million each at customer sites around the world.
After spending 30 years away returning home to Newcastle it feels exciting and emotional.
I love working with cats from kittens to old age ensuring they stay matt free, clean and making their coats the best it can be.
Puurfect Cat Grooming Website
Most cat owners don't understand the importance of professional cat grooming until it is too late, and the cat is in actual pain from matted or worse still pelted fur and skin infections.
I am rediscovering the North East, keen to explore LGBTQ+ nightlife and activities and support the community in any way I can.
I moved back to the UK this year to care for my 90-year-old mum and finally launch my own cat grooming business in Newcastle.
During training my instructor would unknowingly hand me the difficult cats, the angry, nervous and supposedly dangerous ones.
Somehow, they always became calm and cooperative in my hands.
Thabsie Mabezane
Organizing for Power While Still Navigating Displacement
Walking the streets at night looking for a place to sleep, I understood what it meant to be unsafe and unseen.
That family extended into South Africa. I carry those lines with me: I’m Moletswa, Mabeza, and Mkandla clans.
She’s one of the few people who has fully accepted my identity. But it came from other family members whose views are deeply shaped by religion and culture. My mother is also displaced now and living with my granny.
My grandfather on my grandmother’s side served in the military in Lesotho, and through that work he travelled during and after the World Wars, ending up in Zimbabwe where he built family.
I’m Thabsie Mabezane also known as Thabani Mabezane as per ID of South Africa. I’m 31, a black transwoman born and raised in Benoni. I come from a diverse family with roots that stretch across borders.
For more than 10 years I’ve been displaced. From streets to moving between family members’ homes, I know what it feels like to have no place that’s yours. The rejection didn’t come from my mother.
In 2022 I started formal activism at OUT Wellbeing. That’s where I began advocating for HIV prevention, treatment access, and for displaced queer persons navigating the same reality I was in. Before that, I was just trying to survive.
My activism is rooted in what I’ve lived. In 2020 I was raped and became HIV positive.
Those names matter when I speak to ancestors and when I organize. They remind me who I’m accountable to.
Right now, I’m Board Secretary at Lebo Basadi Foundation, working on practical support for queer displaced people and feminist leadership.
I use those tools to keep things moving, hold difficult conversations, and make sure the work outlives one person’s energy.
It means training young queer women to run meetings and campaigns, and building communication strategies that don’t sanitizes our reality to make funders comfortable.
I handle communications for Hope & Unity Metropolitan Community Church in Soweto and volunteer with the African Metropolitan Community Church’s Network because I believe faith spaces can stop being sites of harm and start being sites of accountability.
You can’t advocate for dignity if you’re not willing to speak about where you’re still struggling.
In 2025 I received the Unsung Hero Award for Youth Community Service from Sunday World and African Bank. I’m an Advanced Leadership Graduate at Safe Place International.
I hold that tension openly because I can’t ask others to speak truthfully if I’m not willing to do the same.
I also partner and collaborate with multiple organizations like The Fruit basket advocating for displacement, family rejection, and economic inclusion. The work is recognized nationally and internationally, but I’m still navigating sustainability myself.
I joined the UN Office of the High Commissioner’s Woman Human Rights Defenders Project, and in 2026 I was selected as Lead Coordinator and
Five years of formal activism taught me what breaks movements: bad communication, unclear roles, and people burning out because no one tracked the follow-up.
That’s why I studied Conflict Management, Project Management, Communications Management, and Advanced Facilitation.
That’s our reality, and I don’t hide it.
In 2025 I volunteered as Media Manager at Mzansi Queer Radio, helping run a platform for voices that don’t get airtime anywhere else.
My focus is simple: move people from crisis to leadership. For me that means housing pathways and safety plans, but it also means platforms where queer voices set the agenda.
I’ve spoken on Mamba online, Daily Sun, Sunday World, Newsroom Africa, and SABC News. I use those platforms to bring attention and resources back to the people doing the day-to-day work.
Support Sources
If you’re running a project on queer displacement, HIV advocacy, GBVF, youth leadership, or movement communications and you need someone who can hold the structure without killing the spirit of the work, get in touch.
I’m one of the first survivors to speak publicly about it, and I’ve worked to turn that experience into advocacy that protects others. That work is part of why safety and confidentiality matter so much in how I organise.
Sunday World Award
Convenor of the International Women Human Rights Defenders Task Committee — an independent committee supported by International Frontline Defenders.
Thabsie Mabezane Awarding Winning Philosophical Queer Feminist & Frontline Women Human Rights Defender Social Media Handles Facebook:
I work best when we’re clear on the goal, honest about the constraints, and willing to co-design the solution.
I’m also known in South Africa as an advocate around dating site safety and kidnapping cases.
Dating Sites Advocacy: Source: PinkNews
Mambaonline regional GBV Organising
COVEN CASTS ITS GREATEST SPELL YET: A NEW QUEER SANCTUARY RISES IN SOHO
After sitting empty since October 2025, the historic site enters a new chapter under the stewardship of COVEN founder Matthew Jacobs Morgan, as the East London-born club night expands into a five-storey permanent home in the heart of Soho.
30 OLD COMPTON STREET (FORMERLY G-A-Y BAR)
This is the first new LGBTQ+ club on Old Compton Street in over a decade, and it arrives just in time for pride.
London’s queer nightlife and cultural collective COVEN will open COVEN: HEADQUARTERS at 30 Old Compton Street — formerly G-A-Y Bar — on 19th June 2026, marking the first anniversary of the project’s inception.
The community that has gathered around COVEN over the past year is the true foundation of this new space — a growing network of artists, ravers, performers and outsiders who kept showing up for one another and proved that queer spaces can still be built from the ground up.
THE OPENING WEEKEND: A SOLSTICE TRILOGY
By day, the venue will operate as a café, artists’ salon and community space. By night, it will transform into a live music venue, performance space and nightclub, hosting an ongoing programme of club nights, cabaret, live performance, screenings, workshops and community gatherings.
• SOLSTICE — Sunday 21st June A daytime midsummer gathering bringing together the full COVEN community.
Across its previous incarnations, COVEN has become a home for an expansive network of queer artists, DJs, musicians, performers, dancers, drag artists, poets and underground collectives.
COVEN’s move to Old Compton Street places it directly within one of London’s most historically significant queer neighbourhoods — continuing the legacy of a building that, for decades, served as an important meeting point for LGBTQ+ Londoners.
As queer venues continue to disappear across the UK, COVEN arrives as both celebration and act of resistance: a new permanent space dedicated to queer nightlife, culture, experimentation and connection.
People have cried here. Fallen in love here. Launched work here. Found family here.
The project has been supported by Soho Estates as part of a long-term vision to sustain and invest in queer cultural space within Soho.
Some spaces are built. Others are summoned.
THE COVEN COMMUNITY
As Matthew Jacobs Morgan puts it:
COVEN’s opening weekend coincides with the Summer Solstice and unfolds across three opening events: • FANG — Friday 19th June Line-up announced on the day. • HORNS — Saturday 20th June Line-up announced on the day.
What began as a one-off Christmas party in Hackney Wick has rapidly evolved into one of London’s most distinctive queer cultural spaces — a hybrid of nightclub, performance venue, community hub and artistic sanctuary.
King Princess, Bestley, Strapped, UK Black Pride, A24, Felt Soundsystem, Lexii, Drybabe and Zach Witness have all passed through its doors alongside QPOC-led club nights, sober dance spaces, live music, alternative drag, cabaret, D/deaf-centred rave experiments and multidisciplinary performance work.
@worldwidecoven
This is a venue designed for multiple generations of queer people to exist side by side — where community is not an aesthetic, but the entire point.
OPENING NIGHT Friday 19th June 2026
From 19th June onwards, COVEN’s programme will include club nights, live music, screenings, cabaret, workshops, sober events, experimental performance, artist development initiatives and accessible events including raves designed for D/deaf queer audiences.
THE FULL PROGRAMME
@covenhq
@jacobsmorgan_
ADDRESS 30 Old Compton Street London W1D 4UR
“We as queers can make space for each other in a cardboard box — but luckily, we now have a five-storey building with a W1 postcode.”
Isle of Wight Pride 2026 - Saturday 18th July Pride Parade - Setting off at 11am from Ryde School, it follows a route through the town, down Union Street and finishing at our Pride Community Village.
Individuals and smaller groups are welcome to register ahead of time on our website www.iwpride.org/parade, but can also just join us on the day.
Isle of Wight Pride 2026
Businesses and larger groups (10+) are asked to pre-register by 1st July 2026.
Pride was born from protest, and we will continue to resist any attempt to erase or exclude.
Join us on Saturday 18th July to march in solidarity and celebration, and to let those in power know we will continue to fight for the rights of all in our LGBTQIA+ community.
We have lots of local businesses, charities and food vendors in the Community Village.
IOW Facebook
This year’s entertainment will be hosted in The Pavilion Bar (within Ryde Superbowl).
The Pavilion Bar entertainment will be on from 11am, is accessible and free for all.
Isle of Wight Pride
IOW Pride
Our fantastic line-up includes top UK tributes Smalltown Boy, Liss Jones as Lady Gaga and MDNA as well as drag legends Quivers and Cherry Liquor.
The Pride Community Village is open from 11am until 6pm on the grassed area surrounding Ryde Superbowl on the Esplanade.
It showed me the power of visibility, but it also taught me that being visible is not the same as being safe, supported or heard.
often with very little, because nobody else was going to do it for us.
Pride Needs Strong Foundations: Why LGBTQ+ Communities Deserve More Than Visibility
Often unpaid. Often underfunded. Often giving far more than they have spare because they know how much it matters.
Behind every Pride event, youth group, helpline, campaign, social space, community night and piece of advocacy, there are people doing the work.
My work focuses on building partnerships, strengthening income, and helping the wider LGBT+ sector become more sustainable.
But Pride is also memory. It is resistance. It is care. It is a reminder that LGBTQ+ communities have always had to build what we needed,
Pride has always meant more to me than a date in the calendar. Of course, it is joy. It is music, banners, glitter, chosen family, protest signs, dancing, laughing and, for a moment, feeling like the world has made a little more room for us.
Lesbian Visibility Week
That is the thread that runs through everything I do. I care about making LGBTQ+ communities better resourced, better connected and better heard.
Heather Paterson
My own journey in LGBTQ+ work started in Sheffield, where I have spent much of my life living, working, organising, and building community. I was one of the co-founders of Sheffield’s first Pride event, and that experience shaped so much of what came next.
I currently work as Head of Partnerships and Development at LGBT+ Consortium, the UK’s national infrastructure body for LGBT+ voluntary and community organisations.
But the foundations underneath all that matter too. We need strong LGBTQ+ organisations.
IDAHOBIT
Many LGBTQ+ people, particularly trans and non-binary people, are living through a time that feels frightening, exhausting, and uncertain. The public conversation about our lives can be relentless.
They are about creating space.
Over the years I have led SAYiT, Sheffield’s LGBTQ+ youth charity, organised community events, spoken on LGBTQ+ issues and, every now and then, swapped strategy documents for a DJ booth.
Paul Draycott Awards
In moments like this, Pride matters. Joy matters. Visibility matters.
Rainbow Blades
Alongside this, I am Chair of Proud Changemakers, a national network created to elevate, advocate for and support LGBTQIA+ voices across civil society.
They are about shifting power. They are about making sure LGBTQ+ people are not only seen but properly supported. That feels especially important now.
Consortium’s members include hundreds of organisations across the UK, from national charities to tiny grassroots groups doing vital work in their own communities.
We need places where people can celebrate but also places where they can go when they are scared, isolated, questioning, grieving, angry or in need of help.
We need youth workers, community leaders, campaigners, researchers, fundraisers, peer supporters, and volunteers.
Those different roles might sound varied, but to me they are all part of the same work.
Our rights, safety and dignity are too often treated as a debate, rather than something that affects real people, families, and communities every single day.
I am also a writer, columnist, and campaigner, including writing about LGBTQ+ life and rights for Exposed Magazine.
So, my message this Pride month is this. Find the LGBTQ+ groups doing the work near you. Follow them. Share their messages. Donate if you can. Volunteer if you have the time. Invite them into conversations before decisions are made.
She writes about LGBTQ+ life, rights and community issues as a columnist for Exposed Magazine and has spent more than 25 years working in the voluntary and community sector.
But if we want our communities to thrive, we need more than visibility. We need foundations strong enough to hold us all.
It is about listening to our communities, trusting our organisations, investing in our work, and standing with us when things are difficult, not only when it is easy to celebrate.
Pride began as protest, grew into celebration, and remains one of the most powerful expressions ofcommunity we have.
Her LGBTQ+ work began in Sheffield, where she was one of the co-founders of the city’s first Pride event.
Heather is also Chair of Proud Changemakers, a national network supporting LGBTQIA+ voices across civil society.
Her work focuses on building partnerships, bringing in income, strengthening communications and helping LGBTQ+ organisations get the support and recognition they need.
Heather Paterson is an LGBTQ+ sector l
We also need funders, businesses, public bodies, and allies to understand that supporting LGBTQ+ communities is not just about rainbow logos in June. It is about year-round commitment.
eader, writer, campaigner and community organiser based in South Yorkshire.
Or
She is Head of Partnerships and Development at LGBT+ Consortium, the UK’s national infrastructure body for LGBTQ+ voluntary and community organisations.
About the author
You can find out more about my work and connect with me at:
She later went on to lead SAYiT, Sheffield’s LGBTQ+ youth charity, and has continued to support grassroots organising,
Stand with trans people. Challenge misinformation. Celebrate queer joy but also support the people and organisations making that joy possible.
Consortium
community events, campaigning and queer cultural life.
Across all her work, Heather is passionate about making LGBTQ+ communities better resourced, better connected and better heard.
She believes Pride is both celebration and protest, and that visibility must be matched with real support, solidarity and care.
It doesn’t narrow your capacity for attraction. I fall in love easily and fleetingly — quietly, harmlessly, in that way where the illusion is sweeter than the reality.
And yes — I’m married to a wonderful, witty, creative, supportive man who’s 18 years older than me. But marriage doesn’t erase sexuality.
Not because I’m hiding it, but because the questions that follow are… complicated. People sometimes assume bisexuality and commitment can’t coexist. They can.
I was drawn to maturity, to integrity, to humour, to creativity, to intelligence. Those qualities don’t tend to peak at sixteen. Because I didn’t get involved with peers, I was labelled “frigid.”
It wasn’t until my mid 20s that I finally found a word that fit: bisexual. Not because I suddenly changed, but because I finally had the language to describe what had always been true.
It’s strange how quickly people reach for insults when they don’t understand you.
I imagined the safety of one to one time with someone older, kinder, more emotionally formed than the chaotic boys and girls my age.
I’ve spent a long time learning how to talk about my sexuality — not because I’m ashamed of it, but because it took me years to understand it myself. I didn’t have the neat teenage storyline everyone around me seemed to follow.
As a teenager, I fancied teachers — men and women — but not in the way people assume.
I didn’t imagine sex. I imagined conversation. I imagined connection.
While my peers were diving headfirst into their sexual awakenings, I was standing on the shore, hesitant, confused, and quietly wondering why none of it made sense to me.
If my husband had been a woman, nothing about my sexuality would be different. I’m attracted to people, not genders. I don’t talk about my sexuality often.
Let’s Talk About Sexuality: A Bisexual Autistic Woman’s Reflection
My husband swept me off my feet on our very first date in 2000 by handing me a script he’d written about gender identity. Honestly, he could have been any gender — the effect would have been the same.
Apparently, it’s not uncommon for autistic women to take longer to understand their sexuality. We often experience attraction differently, communicate differently, and form connections in ways that don’t match the expected script.
It’s essential. The LGBTQIA+ community must stand together, not fracture from within.
He was gentle, intelligent, creative — he tamed squirrels in the park — and yet the world’s cruelty still found him. His death stays with me. It reminds me that trans inclusion isn’t optional.
Being both bisexual and autistic means I move through the world at an intersection that’s sometimes misunderstood, sometimes overlooked, but also rich with insight.
It was the mind, the creativity, the courage of the writing that hooked me.
They do. They always have. Being bisexual doesn’t dilute my loyalty or my marriage.
Where sexuality isn’t policed. Where gender isn’t punished. Where love is allowed to be love.
And then there’s the part of my identity that arrived later in life: autism. I was diagnosed as an adult, and suddenly so many things made sense.
I’m proud to be part of the LGBTQIA+ community — and I stand with every letter, not just the one that applies to me.
And advocacy matters. Visibility matters. Not performative visibility — but lived, honest, imperfect visibility. I’ve seen what happens when people are denied it.
What I find sad is that in some parts of the world, loving someone of your own gender is still dangerous. Love should never be a crime.
I’ve been inspired by so many strong lesbian women in my social media circles; I admire them deeply.
I’m celebrating my resilience — the long, winding journey of understanding myself, the courage it takes to speak openly, and the unique perspective I bring as a bisexual autistic woman.
A friend of ours, the brilliant and eccentric Dr Charlie Albright, took his own life in 2019 after a vicious attack simply for being transgender.
Here’s to authenticity. Here’s to connection. Here’s to love in all its forms.
If sharing my lived experience helps even one person feel less alone, then it’s worth every word.
I hope for a world where nobody must hide who they are.
Sofieday
For me, writing has always been my most natural language. I fall for authors, poets, playwrights, people who live in words.
It comes with challenges, yes, but also with strengths. It shapes how I love, how I connect, how I advocate, how I see the world.
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