A Force for Good
Sep-Oct 2023
On Purpose Woman
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On Purpose Woman Magazine is published bi-monthly online. We reserve the right to edit or reject any material submitted. Neither the publishing team or the advertisers accept responsibility for errors. Publication and distribution of this magazine does not constitute an endorsement of information, products or services. The publisher reserves the right to reject any advertisement or listing for any reason. To reproduce articles, always credit On Purpose Woman Magazine with the link to the issue. Also, credit the author and leave their bio and contact info intact.
On Purpose Woman Publisher/Editor Ginny Robertson Creative Director Anne Pamfilis Contributing Writers Andrea Hylen Cheri Martin Emily Shull Kandi Leigh KimBoo York Lilia Shoshanna Rae Liz Goll Lerner Lori Pieper Shelly O’Connell Tamara Robinson Yemaja Jubilee Cover Artist Manzar Rassouli
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Inside On Purpose Woman...
6 Letter from the Publisher Ginny Robertson 10 Negotiating: Does It Make You Feel Icky? Emily Shull 20 A Surprise in the Shadows Lilia Shoshanna Rae 28 Sep-Oct OPWGC Gatherings/Speakers & Topics 32 Miracles Are Real: Why Haven’t I Experienced A Miracle? Lori Pieper 40 Conscious Self-Evolution: Relax. Release. Allow. Andrea Hylen 52 Three Red Flags Are a Dealbreaker Kandi Leigh 62 Harnessing the Power of LinkedIn for Spiritual Entrepreneurs Cheri Martin 72 Events and Resources 74 Embracing the Coziness of Fall: A Season of Pleasure, Self-Love, and Self-Care Tamara Robinson 84 Cover Artist Manzar Rassouli 92 Regrets I’m Kinda Tired Of: A Retrospective of Mistakes and (finally) A Leap of Faith KimBoo York 96 On Purpose Woman Global Community Member Directory 110 Self-Communication: Friend or Foe? Liz Goll Lerner 120 Spotlight Members July-August 122 The Art of Badassery Dr. Yemaja Jubilee 128 Real Women. Real Purpose. Talk Show Schedule 132 Flirting, Fun, and Confidence Shelly O’Connell
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In the USA, we're heading into the Labor Day holiday, and the fall season starts on September 23rd. Fall is my favorite season, and Labor Day weekend has felt like a fresh start since childhood. It harkens back to the days of shopping for new school supplies and the smell of a fresh box of crayons and notebooks with space to write all the things to come. My Labor Day ritual for many years has been to take the day (usually two days, sometimes three) for myself in my office sanctuary, surrounded by what inspires me. I spend the time reflecting on the year so far and honoring all that went well. I look ahead to what I want to create or shift during the remainder of the year and feel the excitement bubbling up. If you're looking for inspiration in this new season (even if you don't have a fall where you live), On Purpose Woman Magazine always offers opportunities to discover ideas and resources for your mind, body, spirit, and business and to be inspired by women living their lives On Purpose! Check out our advertisers when you’re looking for support with any changes or new ventures. They’re why you receive this magazine for free, and each ad is live-linked so you can quickly get more info. If you want to move forward in community in this new season join me for my "Your Next 100 On-Purpose Days Program." It happens in a Facebook group and offers insight, clarity, action, support, networking, and more. See my ad on page 17. Registration closes on September 7th. Until we meet on these pages next time, remember: Be Well, Love Big, Spread Joy, Shine Your Light, Make a Difference, Listen Generously, Be Gentle With Yourself, and LIVE ON PURPOSE!
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Ginny
From the Publisher Ginny Robertson
Negotiating: Does It Make You Feel Icky? By Emily Shull I don't enjoy negotiating. I knew this about myself but had never given it much thought. It turns out that I have a ton of thoughts and feelings about the subject. They all came flooding out recently as I researched negotiation tactics. Mind you, I wasn't even engaging in the act of negotiating. I was simply reading about it! And still, waves of shame, revulsion, suspicion, and confusion came over me. I know I'm not alone in my discomfort. For example, I don't know anyone who enjoys buying a car. Why is this subject so triggering? My thoughts and feelings arose because a journalist asked me to help her write an article using my money coaching expertise. She wanted her article to take a holistic view on money decisions. Great! I thought. After all, that's my specialty. But she also asked for practical tips and strategies specifically for negotiating lower gym membership fees. Even though I'm not an expert in this area, I said yes. I saw it as an opportunity to research and learn. I've signed up at several gyms over the years. It seemed to be a straightforward process, just like shopping for a computer. Find one that meets your needs, compare prices, and then buy the one you want. If you're lucky (and buying a PC), you might catch a promotion and score a good discount. But when I began researching gym memberships, it surprised me to learn how often the price is negotiable. Not at every gym. Not for every transaction. But this happens much more often than I ever imagined. Thanks to the abundance of posts, blogs, and articles from current or former gym sales reps, anyone can learn the "secret" tactics they use to close sales. Total BS! is how several sales reps described their gym's initiation fee on a Reddit thread. At their gyms, these fees only exist as a haggling tool. When potential customers hesitate to sign up, they can reduce the initiation fee or waive it to make the sale. Every customer who pays it without question pads the profits. After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I found lots of advice from sales reps and customers experienced with eliminating sign-up fees and reducing monthly membership fees. Nearly all of them recommended that you play a character. Tell them you're interested in personal training down the line, even if you have no interest. That's a bigger money maker for them, so they won't want to lose the sale. Take up a lot of the salesperson's time so they're more willing to make a deal with you instead of feeling like they have wasted their energy. It's all about the narrative. Choose a story, stick to it, and be willing to walk away. As I read, I grew agitated. I bristled under the taunting vibes of some of the commentary. Even if the posters didn't come out and say it, they shared an undercurrent message: Only suckers pay full price! Suddenly a swirl of emotions made me dizzy. My prior ignorance kept me in a protective, happy state. I didn't know I had a choice, so I felt good about signing gym contracts at the proposed prices. Now I wonder if I was the last one to know. I wonder where else I'm overpaying. How else am I getting duped? I've signed up for at least three different gyms. I feel like a fool for having paid the stated rate and sign-up fees without question. And as a money coach, I should have known this! Or at least, that's what my shame says, even though my specialty is working with people to create a healthy relationship with money, not simply saving every penny possible. Reading the posts, I decided that gym negotiations are a nasty game in which each side tries to outwit the other. Even though the current sales reps were drawing back the curtain to reveal behind-the-scenes secrets, they surely kept that information to themselves when talking to potential clients. I don't fault them for doing their job, but I wish their employers would adopt a more transparent pricing system that doesn't deceive the people who don't know they can haggle. Researching gym fees brought up an intense variety of emotions for me. It's because negotiating creates a clash between my self-interest and my values. I want to pay less…but I don't want to be a jerk. I want what's fair for me…but I don't want to be unfair to the other side. It's no wonder I became disoriented. The thought of negotiating stirs up a complex brew of ingredients, such as money, personal power, self-worth, and values. It makes us question what we stand for, what we fall for, and how we feel about ourselves. Questions that each of us must answer for ourselves. The good news is that when we identify and examine what comes up, we can gain clarity on our motivations, which gives us more confidence and ease when we face these situations. As asked, I wrote a few tips for negotiating a gym membership. I stuck to the strategies I considered ethical and tried to word them without judgment. The best time to shop for a gym membership is the last few days of the month. Sales reps eager to meet their monthly goals will be more willing to negotiate a deal with you. If you don't mind haggling, the initiation fee is usually the most negotiable part of the contract. Cash-in-hand is attractive to any business, so if you can afford to pay upfront for the year, then ask for a lower rate in exchange for pre-paying. No company will publicly post, This is how you can pay us less." So it's up to you to ask. As I reviewed the strategies, I felt I'd left something important unsaid. So, I added another bullet point: Keep in mind that there is no shame in not negotiating. Some people enjoy haggling, while others do not. Decide for yourself if it's worth it to you. The process of deciding is not easy. It requires you to identify and scrutinize your beliefs about money, your definition of fairness, and the degree to which you value how others perceive you. Much like negotiation, the process is uncomfortable but worth it.
Negotiating a Purchase
Total BS
Suspicion
Sorting It Out
Revulsion
Shame
Let's Make a Deal
Seeing Straight
Confusion
Emily Shull is a holistic money coach and founder of Me Myself and Money. Did you enjoy reading this? Sign up for our newsletter for occasional tips, musings, and resources to help you improve your relationship with money. Me Myself and Money Newsletter
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A Surprise in the Shadows by Lilia Shoshanna Rae There they are! They were hiding in the shadow of the bookcase in my room. I was looking for the clothes I had worn the day before. They weren't in the hamper in the bathroom, but I knew they had to be somewhere. I could not see them. Then I moved to where the light in the room illuminated them in the shadow of the bookcase. Aha! I found them. Aha! … Woah! Woah! Woah! What is this about? I felt an urge to pause and reflect. It was more than my finding my clothes. It felt like my angels were playing with me again. It was about something other than where my clothes were. It was symbolic of shadow work, and they wanted me to see it from a different perspective. I was reading a book that was helping with my latest personal shadow work and asking my angels to show me what to do. A few days before, I had shared with two close friends that I was significantly derailing myself by a deep sense of shame. Even though I recognized it was shame at work causing me to spiral into apathy and avoidance, I struggled to release it. Shame had a strong hold on my current experience. One friend asked me what I was ashamed of. I gave an example that seemed silly in the light of day - the piles of paper around me. I had sorted the piles but had yet to file, throw them away, or otherwise handle them. So, I needed to accomplish more to feel that my life was organized and enhanced by the papers. Instead, I gradually piled more papers on top and left the sorting and unpiling for another day. They were more than piles. They were evidence that I was sloppy, lazy, disorganized, not worthy, and so much more. As I described these piles, my other friend asked what would happen if I looked through one of the piles and decided what to keep and what to throw away. I said, "Oh, no. That would be too hard because it would bring up even more shame – shame about how I had not acted on my brilliant ideas, shame about the stupid ideas I might have written down, shame about just how bad I really am. Look at those piles! Who in their right mind has so many piles of paper?" Shame. It's just one of the many shadow states we can experience. Can you relate? Maybe not to shame. Perhaps you know guilt, unworthiness, a sense of failure, or one of the many other shadow states that work on us from within. In that inquiry about how I was experiencing shame, my angels led me to find my clothes in the shadows of my bookcase by moving me to look from a different perspective. I could have just responded, "Oh, there they are. Mystery solved." But I know how my angels work with me when I ask them to help. They give me signs by using some of the most mundane materials. Feathers, coins, repeating numbers on a clock or my phone. Clothes in the shadows, unseen until I shifted to a different viewpoint. I understood that they were getting me to see what gifts might lay in the shadows – that what we have been looking for is right there in the darkness, but that sometimes we need to shift our perspective to see the gift. Why does this matter? Because it's huge. We all have stuff that's getting in the way of being the brilliant beacons of light we were created to be. Perhaps it's a dirty lens over our eyes caused by our conditioning. Or an encoded message in our mind keeps telling us, You're not worthy; who do you think you are to have such dreams? You will never be able to manifest; you're too lazy, too disorganized, too _________ (can you fill in the blank)? And it's hard. How successful have you been with your baggage? Have you unloaded a ton or two but are still carrying some of the same old stuff you thought you'd left behind? My angels were asking me to look at my shadow work differently – to see the gifts in the shadows when I look at them from a different perspective. The shame I feel about my piles of papers is only an indicator. When I notice I'm feeling shame, I can choose what to do next. I can feel ashamed of the shame and go spiraling down a rabbit hole of despair and depression. Or I can say, "Ah, shame, I remember you. What have I forgotten that you want to remind me? Maybe it's the message that the angels tell me and ask me to share with the world: that I am love and light. My piles hold love and light. I need to see them and see me from a different perspective." The critical part of this message is that we can see our shadows from a different perspective – as holding the gifts we most need for our evolution, transformation, and self-realization. The goal is to know ourselves as the love and light we are, share our unique talents, and be the brilliant beacons of light we were created to be. As one of my spiritual guides reminds me, "Be who you came here to be. Do what you came here to do. The time is now." What if our shadows can help? Lilia Shoshanna Rae is a "Live your Brilliance" Mentor who accesses angelic wisdom to help healers and intuitives share their unique gifts as brilliant beacons of light.
"My angels were asking me to look at my shadow work differently - to see the gifts in the shadows when I look at them from a different perspective."
www.LiliaShoshannaRae.com
If miracles are so real, why doesn't everyone experience them? And why haven't I experienced a miracle?
By Lori Pieper
Miracles Are Real Why Haven't I Experienced a Miracle? You may think that for something to be a miracle, you must see someone walk on water or change water into wine. Oh, if only! A nice Cabernet for me, please. The reality is miracles do happen all the time. We just need to pay more attention. Think about it: How can an oak tree grow from a little seed? How can a tiny cell and sperm get together and, nine months later, create a new life? These are both miraculous. Yet you're so used to them that you no longer see them as a miracle. This series of articles is about bringing more miracles into your life. The first step is understanding why you haven't experienced a miracle. Most people just don't believe in miracles. Others are just too busy to recognize a miracle. Either way, your brain is filtering out what you don't believe or don't have time for. When you are so focused on the day-to-day grind, you get worried, afraid, and exhausted. You get stuck in the mundane. Your brain tunes out everything other than the next task on your to-do list. Its filtering mechanism is very efficient and will only allow specific sensory inputs into your awareness. Take a moment and look around you. Count everything that you see. And I mean every little thing you see. The paper clip, the note to buy milk, the fuzz ball on the floor, each sticky note with inspirational messages, etc. Looking straight ahead at my desk, I can count a thousand things. Okay, I didn't count a thousand things, but in the 5 seconds of counting, I counted 30 items. Then I realized I'd be here an hour if I continued counting. If I were to also turn around and count what is on either side of me and behind me, I'd be counting for the entire day. If you were to do the same thing for the other four senses: what you hear, taste, smell, and feel, it would be overwhelming. Think about the sensory inputs coming into your awareness every second of every day, non-stop. It's exhausting! So, your brain filters out many of them. Suppose your brain is filtering out just 60% of your sensory inputs. This means you're unaware of 60% of what is happening around you. And I believe it's a much larger percentage. That explains why you can't find your keys, right? How does the brain choose what to filter out and what to bring into your awareness? Your brain always wants to keep you safe, so any perceived danger will be allowed into your awareness. Your brain wants you to be right, and it will show evidence that reinforces your beliefs. If you believe your boss is mean, your brain will show you the evidence and filter out anything that may prove otherwise. Similarly, your brain listens to your thoughts and attempts to oblige you. Suppose you tell yourself that you're not good enough. In that case, your brain will again oblige and show you evidence reinforcing that belief, no matter how false it is. Habitual Thinking and Your Brain Physiologically, these constant thoughts strengthen the neural networks in your brain. For most Americans, the networks being strengthened are those of worry, fear, anxiety, and feeling like you're not enough. This habitual negative thinking makes negative thinking easier and easier. You come to identify with it. It becomes a habit that gets harder and harder to break. It's like digging a trench. The more you dig, the deeper the trench gets and the harder it is to get out. As those negative thought patterns strengthen those neural networks, you are physiologically less open to seeing the positive side of things, like miracles. Suppose your brain should allow something miraculous into your awareness. In that case, you will reject it as impossible and look for a logical explanation. When you stop and see the beauty in this world, you are retraining your brain and strengthening the positive neural networks. It becomes easier and easier for you to appreciate nature, beauty, peace, and calm. In these places of nature, beauty, peace and calm, the brain allows you to recognize your miracles. Bottom Line Miracles happen outside the realm of the limitations of the human brain. They occur in the awareness of your heart and soul. Part 2 of this series, "How to Manifest Your Miracles," will be in the Nov/Dec issue. Want to know more? Click Here for a free 30 minute chat. No sales, just conversation Lori Pieper is an author and founder of Journey to Inner Joy. She's a Reiki Master, Chopra Total Well-being Coach, and meditation instructor. Her passion is to bring a unique blend of healing wisdom to overwhelmed women, helping them unapologetically live their life with clarity and passion. WEBSITE FB GROUP PERSONAL INSTAGRAM LINKEDIN
Why Does Your Brain Filter Your Sensory Inputs?
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To experience miracles, you need to rediscover your heart. You need to retrain your brain and open your mind to the possibilities. Establish a gratitude practice. Get out in nature and appreciate its beauty. Appreciate the miracle that allows a tiny seed to become an oak tree. A regular meditation practice is a great way to start retraining your brain to look for beauty instead of drama. It will help you rediscover that peace and calm inside you. It is a big step toward manifesting your miracles. I know because I've manifested mine.
Conscious Self-Evolution Relax. Release. Allow. by Andrea Hylen Code 7: Release Your Local Mind's Constant Scanning for What Needs to Be Done. ~Barbara Marx Hubbard, 52 Codes for Conscious Self-Evolution
#4 in a Series of 10
In any creative process, there's an ebb and flow. You have a flash of an idea to write a book, start a business, or move to another location. It might seem like a crazy idea to some, but this idea makes sense to you. It is in alignment with your vision and life purpose. You don't have all the answers to "why." How could you? This is a quest to discover more about yourself in the process. This isn't about just getting it done! As you follow your intuition and take action steps (flow), you find yourself at a fork in the road (ebb). You wonder, which way do I go? What's next? You feel uncertain. You may feel frantic trying to figure it out, judging yourself for not having the answers or not doing it right. Frustrated that there is no forward movement. This is where you learn to engage the power of the pause. I was at a crossroads. I had been living in Venice, California, with a group of people for ten months. Our lease would need to be renewed in two months, and I wasn't sure if the best choice would be to stay or leave. There were pros and cons on both sides of my list. The question was also connected to the next steps for my business. Can I continue to grow my business while I live here? One day I was clearing some of my things out of the bathroom closet when I felt a palpable knowing: It's time to move. I felt it in my body, the arm holding the shampoo bottle, and my gut. It felt true. Following the knowing, a frantic stream of questions came into my mind. "When you do not know what needs to be done, don't try to figure it out. Relax. Release. Allow. Ask your universal self for guidance. That self knows. Then trust the process of creation within you. And when you do know what needs to be done, it can be carried out efficiently, effectively, and often spontaneously as part of the larger design of evolution, the emergence of a more complex and harmonious order." ~Barbara Marx Hubbard, 52 Codes for Conscious Self-Evolution Sometimes we need a pause to let go and wait for our higher self to show us the next step. We need pauses to hear our inner voice, release ideas and create space for new paths, and cultivate and listen to our intuition. At one time or another, you had a vision and a plan for how you thought your life would look. At a crossroads, you experienced a change, a challenge, and you may have been forced to stop and pause along the way. It may have been health, job, relationship, family, or something else. It may have felt like something was ending, and you didn't have the words for why. This was a roadblock, a hurdle, or a choice at a fork in the road. When the guidance around moving did not come, I asked myself, If you knew you were moving in two months, what action would you take now to prepare? I had a small storage unit in Culver City and some boxes in my bedroom. Over the next month, I went through everything that I owned. I recycled 14 boxes of paper storage and books and donated 8 bags of clothes. By the time the next answer came a month later, I was ready. The owner had decided to sell the house, and we would all need to move. The next intuitive step came to me in meditation. Live on the road for a year and stay with Heal My Voice authors. It would be a time for integration and visioning the next steps of my business. I planned what I would pack in two suitcases and allowed for guidance from Spirit. Here are a few tips at this stage of Conscious Self-evolution: 1.Create Space to Pause. Remember your vision: Your vision may be writing a book, building a business, starting a relationship, relocating. Hold the vision. 2.Prepare: This can involve clearing space, handling errands and paperwork. Cleaning up the details of your life. Taking a course. Get ready for something to shift. 3.Think Spaciousness: No grasping for answers. Don't fill your time with busyness. Be purposeful in your activities. 4.Nourish your creativity: Write, sing, dance, make art, write songs, read books, watch films. 5.Take care of your nervous system: Move your body. Breathe. Grieve. 6.Rest Over the next year, I stayed with clients and authors in Santa Barbara, Santa Cruz, Half Moon Bay, Baltimore, Brooklyn, Manhattan, Queens, Malmo, Sweden, Los Angeles, and Washington, DC. The year of living house free has continued for nine years, which I did not imagine at the time. Every year has been filled with new ways to live house free and enjoy the adventure. Relax. Release. Allow. If you missed the first three articles of this series, go to the On Purpose Woman Magazine archives. OPW Magazine Archives Are you an Evolutionary Woman? Code 3: Notice flashes of freedom and keep bringing your attention to them. Code 6: Choose ideas that activate more of your life purpose, creativity, joy, and lovingness of others. Andrea Hylen: Ancestral Lineage Healing Practitioner. Author of Heal My Voice: An Evolutionary Woman's Journey. Creator of The Incubator: On-line Co-working Space for Cultural Creatives. Developmental writing coach.
www.andreahylen.com
Watch Andrea Hylen's August 2023 Writer in the Spotlight interview with OPW Magazine Founder Ginny Presley Robertson
ginnyrobertsonOPW@gmail.com
What is Holistic Money Coaching? Your relationship with money is deeply personal and entangled in your life’s rich history. That’s why it’s so difficult to understand and change. Holistic money coaching allows you to get to the root of your relationship with money once and for all. This is where you unravel the threads of your challenging money beliefs and consciously replace them with current, intentional beliefs and behaviors that align with your core values. The result is less stress, shame or avoidance. And more peace, confidence and enjoyment. Here’s how it works… Holistic money coaching is short-term, intensive coaching so you can understand and shift your relationship with money quickly and effectively. We meet four times via Zoom over two months. Assignments between sessions allow you time and space for the deep and tender exploration of your money beliefs and the experiences that created them. We then meet to process your discoveries, gently challenge old beliefs, and create a holistic action plan to cultivate new patterns. Working with me, previous clients had results such as… Paid down $10,000 of credit card debt by making more mindful spending decisions Shifted from feeling resentful and reactive around money to feeling intentional and calmer Earned $1,000 more per month Saved money for the first time in their life after identifying and freeing an entrenched subconscious belief Holistic Money Coaching may be for you if you are… Curious about yourself and enjoy personal growth experiences Able and willing to have conversations that can get emotional Looking for a holistic solution that acknowledges that money is interconnected with nearly every area of your life The only way to know if I’m the right guide for your money journey is to have a conversation. You can schedule a free 30-minute call here.
As Facebook became popular, society accused the platform of killing relationships by creating mistrust, secret affairs, and more. In reality, Facebook didn't create these problems. The platform helped expose what was already there: broken relationships. Having trust in relationships is tricky to navigate. Trust takes time to build, and it can be shattered overnight. When there's a trust explosion, several things usually need to heal, not just one big issue. Often, mistrust in relationships is there before the actual relationship begins. Most children are taught not to trust strangers. So, they're cautious of people they don't know (rightfully so) and are taught to rely on mom or dad to say who is a safe person. Did your mom and dad exemplify that men and relationships are safe? Were you allowed to discern who felt safe to you? Worse, were you forced to feel safe with someone who wasn't? Eventually, these same children experience relationships that create wounds. They begin building their mistrust of relationships and "men" or "women." In other words, people who haven't been taught how to recognize and build trust safely will have difficulty creating trust in relationships. The rise of the internet established some quick, easy tools people could use to create more trust or expose red flags when meeting someone new. People can run background checks, use Facebook to see if there are common friends, or even run a quick Google search to see if any results pop up. Unfortunately, people can't believe everything they read on the internet. So, how can people enter into relationships and safely build a sense of trust? It begins by learning to trust yourself. It may include doing healing work with the "inner child" who was exposed to unsafe people and told to trust them anyway. It may consist of creating awareness of where you've shown up as untrustworthy in relationships. When I met my ex-husband, we had an instant connection. He was the first person I dated that I could "see" myself married to, and he had many of the qualities I desired in a partner. Unfortunately, this strong connection caused me to ignore several clear red flags telling me this was not the best relationship for me, at least not at that time in my life. Shortly after we married, I discovered more things that, had I known before, I may not have married him. But we were married, and I was committed to not getting divorced. I was so committed to not getting divorced that I ignored several more red flags. I did not allow myself to process the idea of "dealbreakers" because dealbreakers lead to divorce, and I was not willing to go there. I broke my trust with myself, and we both got hurt. People often talk about their red flags. And often, I see the definitions of red flags and dealbreakers blurred. A red flag is an easy-to-see signal telling you to take extreme caution. A red flag does not mean a relationship is doomed; it means you must stay aware of the situation. If you've been to the ocean and seen a red flag waving, you probably still hang out on the beach. Maybe you swim, maybe you don't. But, if the beach staff put up a second red flag, it means don't swim. You are probably packing up and heading home. When the situation clears, you may even come back to the beach. What about three red flags? No one is around to see those. Here's a good rule of thumb for dating: If you see a red flag, you need more information. If you see two red flags, you need to disengage. And if you see three red flags, that's your sign to move on. In other words, three red flags become a relationship dealbreaker. If you're in the early stages of dating, a dealbreaker is an excellent signal to let the relationship go until something visibly shifts between you and the other person. If you're committed or married, a dealbreaker signals that healing and shifts are needed before the relationship can evolve in a healthy way. Or, it may be time to separate. Knowing your red flags and dealbreakers before you begin dating is one way to create trust with yourself in new relationships. Here are six lists you should write before dating: 1.A list of 10-15 qualities you prefer in a partner 2.A list of 10-15 qualities you desire in a relationship 3.A list of 10-15 ways you want your partner to treat you 4.A list of 10-15 ways you want to show up in the relationship 5.A list of up to 10 red flags (More than 10 is a sign you may need to heal before you date.) 6.A list of any clear deal breakers (More than a few is another sign healing may be needed before dating.) Having these lists helps you more quickly identify when Mr. Right is knocking on your door. And your list of red flags can save you from being blinded by rose-colored glasses. Most importantly, if you find yourself behaving in ways that don't match how you want to show up in a relationship, you can quickly identify that this relationship is not a good match for you now. It's time to invest some energy into yourself and treat yourself how you want to be treated. It will help Mr. Right appear in your life. If you're married, all hope isn't lost. When you do inner work, your partner often creates shifts with you. Or, you create clarity that it's time to part ways.
Three Red Flags Are a Dealbreaker by Kandi Leigh
OPW Magazine Archives
This is the fifth of six articles in "Relationship Soup: A Recipe for Better Relationships." See Kandi's first four articles in our On Purpose Woman Magazine archives:
Kandi Leigh is a relationship healer and transformation coach who helps people find success in love.
Watch Kandi Leigh's June 2023 Writer in the Spotlight interview with OPW Magazine Founder Ginny Presley Robertson You can subscribe to the On Purpose Woman Global Community YouTube Channel HERE
www.kandileigh.com
God said: ”The rainbow that I have put in the sky will be my sign to you and to every living creature on earth. It will remind you that I will keep this promise forever.” (Genesis 9:12, Contemporary English Version) Sötnosen believes in God’s promises and she thinks it is a blessing to rule over every living creature in the sea, in the sky and on the ground. They all deserve her love, attention and compassion. I believe that the heart of an unconditionally loved child can heal our wounded souls and our broken world. That’s why I am sharing her as a series of illustrations in On Purpose Woman Magazine. Illustration by Marie Ek Lipanovska, an author, illustrator and artist living in Sweden.
www.marieeklipanovska.se|www.sotnosen.se|
Harnessing the Power of LinkedIn for Spiritual Entrepreneurs By Cheri Martin In today’s rapidly evolving digital landscape, social media has become an indispensable tool for businesses across various industries to connect with their ideal audience, establish credibility, and drive growth. While platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter have their merits, LinkedIn stands out as a distinctive platform with immense potential for holistic businesses and spiritual entrepreneurs. This three-part article series aims to guide you through the process of using LinkedIn to elevate your holistic business, from establishing a strong profile foundation to creating engaging content and nurturing meaningful connections. Each part will provide actionable insights, tips, and strategies, showing you how to share your spiritual journey as you navigate the LinkedIn platform effectively and authentically. LinkedIn, often called the professional network, has evolved beyond a platform for job seekers and recruiters. It has become a dynamic space where professionals from diverse fields, including holistic and spiritual entrepreneurs, can network, share insights, and promote their offerings. The spiritual and holistic market is fueled by individuals seeking wellness, mindfulness, and personal growth. As a spiritual entrepreneur, your presence on LinkedIn can provide a unique opportunity to connect with a receptive audience actively seeking the services and products you offer. Define Your Unique Brand Identity and Value Proposition Before delving into the intricacies of LinkedIn optimization, defining your business’s brand identity and value proposition is crucial. What sets your business apart? What values and principles guide your offerings? Clearly articulating your specific selling points and the transformational experiences you provide will lay the foundation for your LinkedIn journey. When crafting your brand identity, consider how your spiritual journey informs your business’s intention and how you plan to positively impact your audience. Optimize Your LinkedIn Profile Your LinkedIn profile is your virtual storefront, and the first impression you make can significantly impact your business’s success. Begin by creating a captivating headline that succinctly communicates your role and the essence of your business. A well-crafted headline not only grabs attention but also conveys your expertise. Next, devote attention to the “About” section, which is your professional summary. It should be a compelling narrative that showcases your spiritual journey, business philosophy, and the value you bring to your clients. Share your story authentically and demonstrate how your unique experiences have led you to create offerings that resonate with your audience’s needs. Selecting an appropriate profile picture is equally important. Choose a high-quality, professional image that reflects your authentic self. A warm, approachable smile can help establish a connection and foster trust with those who visit your profile. Showcase Your Spiritual Journey and Expertise LinkedIn offers an array of sections to showcase your professional journey and expertise. In the “Experience” section, outline your career trajectory, highlighting key milestones, roles, and accomplishments that contribute to your holistic business’s credibility. Don’t hesitate to integrate your spiritual journey into your narrative; this adds an individualized touch that will resonate with your audience. The “Skills” section also provides an opportunity to highlight your strengths and areas of expertise. Select skills that align with your business’s offerings and values. As you build your network and engage with others, endorsements from connections can enhance your profile’s credibility and increase your visibility. Enhance Your Discoverability Just as in other forms of digital marketing, keywords play a pivotal role in making your LinkedIn profile discoverable. Incorporate relevant keywords that reflect your holistic business, spiritual offerings, and niche areas. These keywords help your profile surface in searches, increasing the likelihood of connection requests from individuals seeking your services. In addition to keywords, leveraging strategic hashtags amplifies your content’s reach beyond your immediate connections. Research and use popular hashtags within the holistic and spiritual community to expand your profile’s visibility to like-minded individuals. Establish a Clear Call to Action A strong LinkedIn presence is not just about enhancing your profile, it’s about driving meaningful engagement and conversions. To achieve this, include a clear call-to-action (CTA) that aligns with your business goals. Whether directing visitors to your website, inviting them to a webinar, or encouraging them to explore your offerings, a well-defined CTA guides your audience’s next steps. In conclusion, LinkedIn offers a transformative platform for holistic business owners and spiritual entrepreneurs to connect, share, and thrive. By following the steps outlined in this article series, you’ll be well-equipped to craft a compelling LinkedIn profile that reflects your brand’s identity, displays your expertise, and resonates with your ideal audience. As you embark on this LinkedIn journey, remember that authenticity and a genuine commitment to your on-purpose mission will set you apart and help you build a solid foundation for your business’s success. Cheri Martin is a LinkedIn coach, trainer, speaker, and certified AWAI social media strategist known as the “So Social Visionary” for her approach to the art of social networking.
Part 1 in a 3-Part Series
Watch Cheri Martin's June 2023 Writer in the Spotlight Interview with On Purpose Woman Magazine Founder Ginny Presley Robertson. For more On Purpose Woman Global Community interviews and talks, please subscribe to our YouTube Channel.
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“Connecting presents possibilities. Communicating opens up opportunities.”
www.SoSocialVisionary.com
"Inside my head there lives a dream that I want to see in the sun. Behind my eyes there lives a me that I've been hiding for much too long. 'Cause I've been, too afraid to let it show 'Cause I'm scared of the judgment that may follow Always putting off my living for tomorrow. It's time to step out on faith, I've gotta show my face. It's been elusive for so long, freedom is mine today." -India Arie
Embracing the Coziness of Fall A Season of Pleasure, Self-Love, and Self-Care by Tamara Robinson As the vibrant summer days give way to the crispness of autumn, I embrace the new season filled with cozy moments, warm beverages, and a sense of introspection. This holds a special significance for me, as I grew up in Miami, Florida, where the concept of seasons was almost unheard of. I never experienced the changing seasons until my college years in Georgia and later when I moved to Maryland as an adult. I truly appreciated the magic of fall when surrounded by its beauty in college and adulthood. Fall quickly became one of my favorite seasons. I'm energized by the coziness it brings as I turn my focus within and indulge in the beauty around me. I'm drawn to introspection and self-care as we close out the outward expression of summer. Reflecting on Summer Before we delve into fall intimacy and pleasure, let's take a moment to reflect on the self-care tips from our sizzling summer article (July/August 2023.) Find it here These valuable practices continue to hold relevance as we embrace the autumn season. Celebrating our bodies, nurturing our sensual well-being, and prioritizing pleasure and intimacy are timeless principles that can enhance our lives throughout the year. As we transition into fall, we can carry these principles with us, adapting them to this season's unique energy and atmosphere. Creating Cozy Intimacy Fall is a season of warmth, comfort, and connection. It's a time when we seek solace in cozy sweaters, hot beverages, and intimate moments. Embrace the change of seasons by creating cozy intimacy in your relationships. Plan romantic evenings by the fireplace, indulge in candlelit dinners, or take leisurely walks in nature as the leaves change colors. The crisp air and the beauty of the fall landscape serve as a backdrop for deepening your emotional and physical connections. Rediscovering Self-Intimacy Just as the falling leaves invite us to turn inward, fall is an ideal time to reconnect with ourselves on a deeper level. Use this season to rediscover self-intimacy, similar to what we discussed in the summer article. Set aside time for self-reflection, journaling, or engaging in activities that nourish your soul. Take long baths scented with autumn-inspired essential oils, read books that ignite your curiosity, or explore creative pursuits that bring you joy. By prioritizing self-intimacy, you strengthen your connection with yourself, enhancing your connections with others. Savoring Seasonal Delights Fall offers a plethora of sensory experiences to be savored. Engage in activities that delight your senses and ignite pleasure within you. Indulge in the flavors of the season by sipping on warm apple cider, tasting pumpkin-spiced treats, or baking aromatic pies. Take long walks in nature to witness the breathtaking colors of the changing leaves and feel the crispness of the air against your skin. Mindfully engaging your senses allows you to be fully present in the moment and cultivates a deeper appreciation for the beauty of fall. Embracing Cozy Intimate Moments During autumn, we look for warmth and comfort in our surroundings. Creating a cozy and intimate atmosphere can help us relax and feel content. To embrace this feeling, snuggle up with a loved one under a soft blanket, light some scented candles, and create a warm and inviting ambiance in your living space. Practice mindful breathing exercises or gentle meditation to fully immerse yourself in the present moment and cultivate peace and tranquility. By prioritizing cozy and intimate moments, we can better connect with ourselves and our loved ones, making the most of the autumn season. Honoring Boundaries and Practicing Self-Care As the days grow shorter and the temperature drops, you must honor your boundaries and prioritize self-care. Listen to your body's needs and engage in activities that promote rest and rejuvenation. Treat yourself to cozy self-care rituals such as enjoying a hot cup of tea while reading, taking nature walks wrapped in warm layers, or practicing gentle yoga to soothe your body and mind. By setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care, you create space for intimacy and pleasure to flourish in all aspects of your life. Fall is a season of transformation, introspection, and cozy moments. By incorporating the principles of intimacy and pleasure from our summer self-care routine, we can embrace the magic of this season and deepen our connections with ourselves and our loved ones. Celebrate the beauty of fall, create cozy intimacy, savor seasonal delights, and honor your boundaries through self-care practices. Allow the autumnal energy to inspire and guide you on a journey of self-discovery, pleasure, and intimate connections that will carry you through the season and beyond. Tamara Robinson, Pleasure, Intimacy & Love Coach. I help women over 40 feel more confident in the bedroom so they can get the love and intimacy they desire. Body text Body text Body text Body text
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On Purpose Woman Global Community Meets In-Person
Columbia, MD: Last Friday Richmond, VA: 1st Friday Tallahassee, FL: 3rd Sunday GO HERE for more info.
Cover Artist
Manzar Rassouli
I'm a painter, author, sculptor, art consultant, and vocalist. I was born in Tehran, Iran, and currently live in Baltimore, MD. My work has been exhibited throughout the United States and around the world, including collections in various government, private, and humanitarian agencies. I'm the Founder of "Silent Vision” - Projects for Peace & Possibilities in Maryland and California. I'm also the Founder of IMA of America, an international multi-disciplinary artist organization. I served as chair of the Multicultural Outreach Program of the Maryland State Arts Council and have been a consultant for the Baltimore Mayor's Office of Art and Culture. I have a BFA from Morgan State University and an MFA from Maryland Institute College of Art / Morgan University.
CLICK HERE for info on parking, gallery hours and Manzar’s scheduled presentations and workshops.
"Silent Vision” – A New Work by Manzar Projects for Peace & Possibilities Opening Reception Saturday, September 9th from 6-8pm Exhibit open until September 30th Fox Building Gallery & Studios 3100 Falls Cliff Rd. in Hampden (Baltimore City)
Connect with Manzar www.manzar.net
MORE ART BY MANZAR RASSOULI
Regrets I’m Kinda Tired Of A Retrospective of Mistakes and (finally) a Leap of Faith
By KimBoo York 1992: ·Me: Oh, this desktop publishing thing is gonna be huge! I should spend the $$ to buy the software and learn it, get into graphic design and layout! ·Them: Oh no! Graphic design takes years of formal education! And that software is just gonna be used by amateurs, it’s a waste of time. ·My friend who did it anyway: *started his own graphic design firm, sold it ten years later, retired to do his art and teach kids* 1999: ·Me: Now that I know how webhosting works maybe I should start my own company offering those services! ·Them: Oh no! It’s complicated and it’s probably just a flash in the pan thing! Go get a real job! ·My colleague who did it anyway: *got bought out by earthlink a little over a year later for nearly $2 million* 2008: ·Me: You know what, I think this ebook thing is going to take off. Howabout I start a boutique publishing company for romance and erotica? Who’s with me?!?!?! ·Them: Oh no! Ebooks are a niche thing, people aren’t going to buy them much. Consider going to graduate school and getting a real job! ·The person who did it anyway: *made millions, sold the company, retired* 2011: ·Me: Is all this student loan debt wise? I dunno. I made good money on sales of my novels this year. I think I should focus on that and get into self-publishing. ·Them: Oh no! REAL authors NEVER self-publish! There is no guarantee in writing, anyway, so just take out more loans, get your master’s, and get a proper job! ·All the authors who got into self-publishing early and stuck with it: *made millions, now write for pleasure* 2023 (pandemic era) ·Me, sunk under student loan debt and running out of money after quitting “real job” that was psychologically destroying me: I think subscriptions for authors is the future for writers like me; it’s crucial for me to get this launched, no matter the risk. ·Them: Oh no! It’s untested, untried! Swallow your pride and just go get a different real job! ·Me: You know what? You can just fuck right off. Regrets, I’ve had a few, and I’d like to have less of them. KimBoo York is a professional author, former project manager, and librarian who wears too many hats! In the guise of The Task Mistress, productivity coach, she helps solopreneurs create holistic productivity and frees them from the tyranny of their task lists. Find all of her links at House of York.
On Purpose Woman Global Community Member Directory
Amanda (AJ) Schwarz. Mended Digital. Mason, OH. Website Design and Digital Marketing. Feel confident about putting yourself & your business online. www.mendeddigital.com aschwarz@mendeddigital.com Andrea Hylen. Santa Monica, CA. Ancestral Lineage Healing. Mental Health Fitness. Somatic-Intuitive and Developmental Writing Coach. Zoom and Online. https://AndreaHylen.com Bessie Estonactoc. Bessie Estonactoc, LLC. Nipomo, CA. Helping Professional Spiritual Women in Mid-life to authentically 'EMBRACE THEIR WOO.' www.BessieEstonactoc.com Beth Shekinah Terrence. Annapolis, MD. Integrative Shamanic Healing and Restorative Practices for Individuals, Communities and Organizations. https://bethterrence.com beth@bethterrence.com 443-223-0848 Beverly Hamilton CHT, Reiki Master. Soul-utions Hypnosis. Baltimore, MD and virtually. Empowering women struggling with infertility to conceive their baby and have a gentle peaceful childbirth. www.SoulutionsHypnosis.com HypnoAromaBev@gmail.com 410-663-5089 Carol Baxter. Creative Websites Write. Pine, AZ. Showcase your passion for service with an attractive website that connects to clients. www.CreativeWebsitesWrite.com 928-978-5376 Carol@TalesofaLifetime.net Carol Burbank. Storyweaving Coaching. Fort Washington, MD. Compassionate, professional writing mentoring and services: coaching, manuscript evaluation, editing, publisher/agent proposals, research, ghost writing. cburbank@storyweaving.com Cheri Martin. So Social Visionary LLC. Maryville, TN. Social Media Strategist, LinkedIn Coach, Trainer & Speaker. Unlock the full potential of your LinkedIn profile. www.SoSocialVisionary.com Cheryl Hickman. Hickman Enterprises. Clinton, MD. Recommend/Educate Blockchain platforms for Retirement, Supplemental and Legacy Income. YourExclusives@gmail.com 301-536-6265 (please leave a message) Cherryll Sevy. Living Forward After Fifty. Los Gatos, CA. Writer/Speaker, inspiring and guiding women to a full life. www.cherryllsevy.com Cindy Freland. Cindy Freland, Author. Bowie, MD. Children learn about the Chesapeake Bay by reading my books. www.cbaykidsbooks.com cindyrenefreland@gmail.com 240-882-5429 Claudette W. Gadsden. Coach Claudette & Associates. Caret, VA. We guide women to more clear concise conversations. Let's Talk! www.CoachClaudette.com Claudette W. Gadsden. Temple in the Woods. Caret, VA. Bed & Breakfast off the beaten path. A place to nourish your soul. www.TempleintheWoods.com. Dawn Shuler. Soulful Business Coach. Gore, VA. I work with women business owners to play bigger by focusing on systems. www.SmartBusinessFromYourSoul.com Dr. Dora Vilk-Shapiro. Romance Mystery Author of Love Arrested, Love Attempted, and Love Avenged. Lauderdale-By-The-Sea, FL. www.DorisVilk.com 954-675-3500 Doria Musaga. BEMER Distributor. Columbia, MD. BEMER therapy improves blood flow to increase energy. Decreases, pain chronic fatigue, aids recovery from injury. http://bmruniversity.com/whatisbemer www.nursedoria.bemergroup.com 667-786-1032 Elizabeth Papp-Stinson. Transpersonal Life Coach. Saint Lucie, FL. Mind, Body & Spirit connection to create balance and peace. amethistlady59@hotmail.com 585-313-6668 Ellen Koronet. LNK Creative. Frederick Co. MD. Lead Magnet Strategies: creative bubble mapping, quizzes, and assessments. EllenKoronet@LNKcreative.com 240-315-3371 Free chat: bit.ly/LNK-talk Emily Shull. Me Myself and Money. The Netherlands. I help women understand and heal their relationship with money. https://memyselfandmoney.com Gail Dixon.The Heart’s Voice Movement. Tallahassee, FL. We guide people to discover and express their life’s purpose and passion. www.heartsvoicemovement.com Gerise Pappas. Phoenix, MD. Transformational Life Coach & Enneagram Facilitator working with growth-oriented individuals ready to replace fear-based habits with inspired action. Phoenix, MD www.GerisePappas.com Gina Hogan Edwards. Creativity Coach, Author, Editor. Writing Retreats, Women Writing for CHANGE. 850-766-6029. www.ginahoganedwards.com/Links Ginny Robertson.On Purpose Woman Global Community. Lutherville, MD. 11 Free Zoom gatherings each month. In-person meeting in Richmond, VA. https://www.OPWGC.com Ginny Robertson.On Purpose Woman Magazine. Lutherville, MD. Go to the website to read the current and back issues, for advertising rates, and info on writing for the magazine or being our cover artist. https://www.OPWGC/magazine Gloria Darling. Tallahassee, FL. Replay Fitness Feel Good Again. Primarily, non-financial retirement coaching for recently retired professional women. https://replayfitnessfga.com info@replayfitnessfga.com 850-345-0319 Helena Richardson. HRichnetworks, LLC.Chesterfield, VA. We offer Web Design, Digital marketing, Search Engine Optimization (SEO), Google Analytics, Technical Support with a focus on Network Security. www.hrichnetworks.com Janet Roessler. Creativity Consultant. Inner Voices Outer Vision. Ft. Pierce, FL. Art, Marketing, Rituals, Events, & other journeys. I help you do what you do, better. https://innervoicesoutervision.com/ Jean Wright. Speaker, Author of Selling Your Confidence. Frederick, MD. I coach women in sales and entrepreneurs who want to sell confidently. www.sellingyourconfidence.com jeanw9440@gmail.com Jennifer Palmer. Nourishing Journey Café & Wellness Center. Columbia, MD. Healing Bodies ~ Opening Minds ~ Uniting Hearts. Columbia MD. 410-992-3001 www.nourishing-journey.com Joanne Young Elliott. Greater Los Angeles Area. Spiritual Life Coach and Licensed Science of Mind Practitioner. Reach your goals faster through self-compassion and self-knowledge. soulsprite@joanneyoungelliott.com Julia Mattis. The Julia Mattis Sales Team at Re/Max Advantage Realty. Columbia, MD. Realtor specializing in working with Sellers and Buyers in Maryland! www.JuliaMattis.net juliamattis@hotmail. 1-410-303-7010 Julie Goetzinger. New Market, MD. Julie Goetzinger LLC. Helping ambitious professionals to find their higher purpose. Offers life purpose readings, retreats, her book, “Free to Fly: Manifest the Life of Your Dreams.” https://www.juliegoetzinger.com julie@juliegoetzinge.com 301-284-0789 Karen DaGrava. Stepping Stones To Perfect Health. Baltimore, MD. Lose weight and end yo-yo dieting effortlessly through self-love. karendagravamd@yahoo.com Facebook Group: https://tinyurl.com/steppingstonestoperfecthealth Karen Tasto. Open Heart Healing, LLC. Derwood, MD. Life Coaching & Women’s Circles for Reclaiming & Connecting to Your WHOLE Self. www.karentasto.com/ 301-646-4385 Kathryn Yarborough. Manifesting Clients Academy. Lake Mary, FL. Training to attract clients and grow a business you love. www.manifestingclientsacademy.com Kenya Halliburton. Course to CashFlow. Huntsville, AL. As an Online Course Choreographer, I help women entrepreneurs build life-friendly and profitable online businesses using courses. www.KenyaHalliburton.com KimBoo York, M.L.I.S. The Task Mistress. Tallahassee, FL. Productivity Solutions for Women Solopreneurs. www.task-mistress.com Kim Eley. KWE Publishing. Prince George, VA. Bringing magic to authors to transform their idea into their amazing published book. www.kwepub.com Kyle Brooks, LMT. Heartfelt Shiatsu. Columbia, MD. Craniosacral Therapy, Shiatsu, Massage & more 443-514-4399 Kyle@HeartfeltShiatsu.com www.HeartfeltShiatsu.com Latisha Boyd-Potts, MSW,AMHFA,YMHFA. Ijamsville, MD. Grouplady Lifeskills Consulting, LLC. Life-tool Workshops, Safe Space groups, Motivational Speaking that strengthens mental & emotional wellness. www.groupladylifeskills.com lbp.grouplady@gmail.com 240-481-6516 Laura Di Franco, MPT. Brave Healer Productions. Bethesda, MD. Have fun with your fear and share your healing message with the world. www.BraveHealer.com 703-915-3653 Laurie Morin. Wilmington, NC. Retreats to help women design adventurous lives and legacies. Author of Shero's Journey. https://www.LaurieMorin.com Lilia Shoshanna Rae. Author of The Art of Listening to Angels, Reiki Master. Severna Park, MD me@lilia.com www.LiliaShoshannaRae.com Liz Goll Lerner, CAT, LCPAT, LPC ATR-BC. Your Inspired Choices, LLC. New York City & Washington DC. Personal Coaching, Psychotherapy, Divorce Well and Thrive® Coaching, Enlightened Communication™ courses +retreats for luminous living. www.yourinspiredchoices.com Lori Pieper, Journey To Inner Joy, LLC. Total well-being coaching-live your life with clarity, joy, passion! https://JourneyToInnerJoy.com Lori@JourneyToInnerJoy.com 513-332-7928 Mae Caime RN ,CINN Healthy Lifestyle Expert. aMAEzing Midlife and beyond.Mount Sinai, NY. Supporting, coaching woman to add zest, sizzle and sass to thrive versus survive. www.Amaezingmidlife.com Facebook amaezingmidlife Maria Guadalupe Lopez. Apapacho. Rosedale, MD. Have a Mexican experience first-hand at Fiesta Mexicana and Apapacho. Restaurant/Specialty Mexican Shop. www.fiestamexicanamd.com https://www.facebook.com/pamperingyoursoul 443 961-4964 Maria Petrucci, DC. Columbia, MD. Craniosacral Therapy, Chiropractic, and Mind-Body Tools to alleviate pain and stress. www.mariapetruccidc.com mpetrucci.dc@hotmail.com 240-394-2037 Mary E. Knippel. Your Writing Mentor. Half Moon Bay, CA. Mentors authors - Written In Her Own Words Co-Author & Book Elite Women’s Writing Retreat. https://yourwritingmentor.com MentorMary@yourwritingmentor.com Mary Perry. Wings Unfurled. Sparrows Point, MD. I offer Intuitive Angel Readings and Healing Sessions. https://www.Wings-Unfurled.com Mary Scott. BusinessRiff. St. Louis, MO. Solve problems, connect resources, providing business concierge/consulting services. https://businessriff.com businessriff@gmail.com 917-628-6322 Mary Jane Charles. Last Wishes 'n Support. Wilson, NC. I provide a user-friendly process with detailed instructions, so that your last wishes come true. www.lastwishsnsupport.com mj@lastwishesnsupport.com 503-317-8854 Mia Zachary. Elemental Abundance. Charlottesville, VA. Energy Balancing; Intuitive Counseling; Holistic Coaching. http://MentalDancing.com Olivia A. Jones, Independent Beauty Consultant. Mary Kay Cosmetics. Tallahassee, FL My business offers opportunities to be your own boss, to earn the use of a company car, to experience facial products that help you look and feel your best. www.marykay.com/oajones Pam McFarland. Dragonfly Creative, LLC. Silver Spring, MD. Using writing as a tool in for growth and personal expression; workshops, coaching, memoir-writing. www.pammcfarland.com pammcfarland.01@gmail.com Dr. Pamela Hamilton-Stubbs, BSN, M.D, CNS. Dr. Hamilton-Stubbs Sleep and Total Wellness Institute, LLC. Richmond, VA. Double board-certified sleep physician and certified nutrition specialist offering Sleep and Wellness Coaching and online classes. http://www.drhamiltonstubbs.com Risa Lynch. Risa Lynch LLC. Charlottesville, VA. ASEA Redox distributor. Redox helps improve healing, energy, chronic issues, anxiety, sleep and much more. https://risalynch.myasealive.com risa@risalynch. 757-619-1286 Ruthanne Warnick. Capture the Journey. Hillsboro, OR. Helps families capture and share memories and family stories to connect the generations. www.CapturetheJourney.com Sahffi Lynne. Music is Medicine. Ellicott City, MD. Musician and Vocal Coach connecting hearts around the world. www.sahffi.com Shelly O’Connell. Coaching by Shelly Martinez, CA. Flirting Coach for Women & Author of Finding Your Flirt. https://www.facebook.com/coachingbyshelly https://shellyoconnell.com Shelly Roman. Sacred Ground Walk, LLC. Sterling, VA. Author, Speaker, Trainer, Co-Walker™. Helping women return to the LIGHT, heal body and brain. www.sacredgroundwalk.com Dr. Sree Meleth. Freeing Ourselves. Atlanta, GA. I help clients cultivate contentment by dropping self-judgement, lovingly integrating their shadow & flowing with life. https://www.instagram.com/freedomwithsree/ Sylvia Henderson. MindTeam Solutions, Inc. Olney, MD. Leadership and professional development. Meeting and retreat ideation and facilitation. https://MindTeamSolutions.com Tamara Robinson. Love Heals Coaching, LLC. Author and Passion & Pleasure Coach. Hanover, MD. Heal and connect with your desires, reclaim your pleasure and have more confidence www.passionpleasurecoach.com Tammy Workman-Lopez. Sparks Hope Anxiety Relief & Wellness. Orlando, FL. Successfully relieve anxiety & negative thinking and have the personal & professional life you desire. www.SparksHope.Life.com Toni Gitles. Heart of Caregiving. Lake Mary, FL. Caregiver consultant and educator, families, businesses, medical professionals, universities, conferences. Keynote speaker and author. https://www.HeartOfCaregiving.com Toni@HOCToni.com 407-304-6534 Veronica Grey. National Campaign for Financial Literacy. Baltimore, MD. Free financial educational presentation and workshops. Text Veronica 443-929-1140. Veronica Grey. VG Total Care. Baltimore, MD. We focus on Financial Literacy through workshops and life coaching. vgtotalcare@gmail.com https://h9mwidat.pages.infusionsoft.net/ Vicki Ibaugh. Know You To Grow You. Orlando, FL. Personalized business coaching for women solopreneurs. www.KnowYouToGrowYou.com Vicki@KnowYouToGrowYou.com 407-342-4434
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Self-Communication Friend or Foe? What do we know about communication? For something that takes up almost every moment of our existence, not a whole lot. Think about it. Even if we're not in communication with another human being, we're communicating with ourselves when we're thinking. The nature of that communication can affect how we feel in a given moment or for the rest of the day. We may not even be aware of the constant stream of information, perception, or commentary happening moment to moment. No wonder mindfulness continues to take on more importance in our culture and, hopefully, our lives. It gives us a break to be still, step away from the chatter, and find that all-important moment of stillness. Stepping back and listening to what's happening in our minds can profoundly affect how we live each day. Can you relate to: OH, I look so (fill in the negative blank) I'll never be able to… I don't know what to say. I'm not… What if it went something like this? I wonder if I'd feel more comfortable in a different outfit. I'll take this one step at a time. I'm going to take the time to prepare for this important conversation. I am enough. Many years ago, I had a profound experience about how I was communicating with myself. I was taking my usual walk and talk with my friend/colleague Dave along the shores of Lake Michigan in Chicago. I was shocked but so lucky when he said, "Who says you're not good enough?!?" Needless to say, our conversation blew my mind. He was asking who I was listening to in my head and questioning whether it was my voice! I'd never thought it wasn't my voice. After all, it was in MY head! I'd been complaining about a work situation, my social life, etc. But really, my situation was fine. It was how I was feeling about it, what I was saying to myself about it, and what I was believing about both the situation and myself that was the problem. "Not good enough." "Not Good Enough." "NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" Those words—in their varying intensities at various moments—were affecting my life. Those words -not good enough -created other unhelpful thoughts as well. I would struggle with something I knew I could do but felt I couldn't do. I would express doubt and need good friends to help me see myself accurately, or I would give myself a good talking to so that I could proceed. What a struggle! Where did this contradiction come from? It was so exciting to imagine—and then recognize—that what I believed was my internal voice was actually one that I co-opted from teachers, parents, or disheartening situations. The self-criticism came from messages I received growing up. Then, I had to decipher what was my own and decide what I agreed with or didn't—a journey for sure and one worth taking. Why is it easier to hold on to the negative messages than the positive? My experience as a psychotherapist and coach is that we feel the impact of negative messages more deeply because they often catch us off guard or conflict with our self-perception. Unconsciously, we internalize these negative inputs more than we should. That was what I had been doing. That self-talk had become a habit and a belief system. It was incredibly freeing to realize I could evaluate each of those questionable thoughts. First, I became curious about when and where I had heard that message. Then, I began to evaluate and decide whether I agreed with the message. That gave me the agency to choose! · Did I believe it? · Was the thought true? · Did the negative message evolve? · Was it an accurate representation of the real me? · Did I want that message to be mine? Mostly, that negative talk is not true. It comes from hurt, unkind words, and moments when we have not been at our best. If you aren't happy with some of the self-talk / self-doubt / self-critical messages that you are experiencing, try to be a detective and begin choosing which messages to listen to. Sometimes, it helps to talk to a good friend or a professional (like a life coach or a therapist) to sort it out if you get stuck. Bottom line: The time has come to choose. Choose to allow you to be you – fully and freely -without restriction! And choose what message you are communicating to yourself. Do you have a comment, a question, or a story? I would love to hear your thoughts! In the meantime, choose you!
by Liz Goll Lerner
"Stepping back and listening to what's happening in our minds can profoundly affect how we live each day."
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Liz Goll Lerner, author, spiritual-teacher, art-psychotherapist, counselor, and coach has been helping transform lives for decades. Her passion: ensuring that all conversations from the bedroom to the boardroom are successful, is evident in her book Divorce Well and Thrive®, Your Guide to Being Your Best Self Under The Worst Circumstances coming soon.
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The Art of Badassery by Dr. Yemaja Jubilee Let me clear my throat cause this verse is dope. I am woke! I say hey hey! You say hum hum! For it will become very clear, the art of badassery. Because I don't want you to choke, which would lead to your demise, before you claim your voice to be part of the badassery tribe. Let me clear my throat cause this verse is dope. I am woke! I say hey hey! You say hum hum! Some of y’all say it's as easy as 2,3,1. I say it’s like 1,2,3! It took this sister over half of her life to see. She’d been made to believe, got hoodwinked and bamboozled into thinking she has to be what someone else says she has to be. Let me clear my throat cause this verse is dope. I am woke! I say hey hey! You say hum hum! Taught to please, even wipe your nose if you sneeze. All of this at her own expense, put in a box to be seen and not heard, or dare to say a word that does not go along with all normalcy. Let me clear my throat cause this verse is dope. I am woke! I say hey hey! You say hum hum! Why do me, myself and I conform to beliefs, thoughts, and perceptions that tie my true essence up in knots, disgust and shame, and not being accepted unless it's in Jesus’ name? Let me clear my throat cause this verse is dope. I am woke! I say hey hey! You say hum hum! You gotta be a wife, a good daughter. You never say a word about what's going on. If you dare own your voice, you’ll be put down and destined for hell, where the devil awaits you with a pitchfork to burn your soul in hot fiery flames. Now run tell that! Let me clear my throat cause this verse is dope. I am woke! I say hey hey! You say hum hum! Bound by an invisible rope around your throat, you cannot express your uniqueness. You hide your essence in the dark shadows and fear of escalating doubt. Oops ! Oops! There it is, in plain view. You’ve given up on you just to be accepted by some, and rejected by more than a few. People pleasing, and keeping your thoughts and feelings to yourself. Your brilliance and those innovative ideas that you’ve buried in the deep, are swimming in the river of denial. Your life is falling apart. You are on the edge and falling apart, losing your sanity. Let me clear my throat cause this verse is dope. I am woke! I say hey hey! You say hum hum! Oh, my sister you don't have to drown in the currents of all this ****** normality It's all been a crock of lies. Why you were just playing a part to get along, keeping peace at any price. Clap! Clap! Clap ! It's time for this hypocrisy to collapse. Let me clear my throat cause this verse is dope. I am woke! I say hey hey! You say hum hum! I Own my true voice as I practice the art of badassery beautifully, amazingly, delightfully authentically! Sassy soulful sister is what I be! The art of badassery resides in me. Truly this is mine. I set me free! I am a work of art, dancing, painting, singing my song and allowing my story to unfold while my story is told. I Don't crawl before anyone. Neither do I live to please. Self-love, self-care and compassion pave the way for my un-becoming this false sense of who I be. I am processing, not denying, and practicing the art of badassery! I’m humbly embracing all of me from God's vision poured inside of me. Girl you got this! Hear what I say! Labels, boxes and judgment I send them all on their way. Practicing the art of badassery, expressing naturally my authenticity and originality. Let me clear my throat cause this verse is dope. I am woke! Dr. Yemaja Jubilee, Love, Light & Positivity, is a Soul—Full Poet, Sermonic Spoken Word Artist, Inspirational Speaker, Author, Creative Consultant, and Songwriter. She “NSPIRES, NCOURGE & NFLUNCES” others to EMERGE & EVOLVE.
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Part 3 in a Series on Flirting
Flirting, Fun, and Confidence by Shelly O'Connell Hey lady, I see you out there. I notice your effort, the hard work you do every day. I see how you show up for your family, friends, and colleagues. I witness your drive and dedication to make your business successful. You're on fire! I see you. I pay attention to your weariness, your doubts, and your fears. I notice the days when you feel depleted and alone. I see that you could use some me time. I witness the heavy toll that doing it all can cost you. You're on fire! Being on fire can mean getting it all accomplished in a significant way, and it can also mean burning it to the ground. Let me offer you an easy technique to keep you balanced. I'm talking about flirting. Flirting renews and replenishes you. It's a way to restore lightness to your essence by engaging in play. Flirting is actually a form of play. When you flirt, fun, laughter, and playfulness are restored. You release endorphins which heightens cognition, lessens stress, and improves your mood. These are benefits you deserve every day. Flirting makes space for you. It allows you to fill up, enjoy yourself, and create connections that give to both you and the person you're flirting with. Flirting can help you fully express yourself and connect to your true, radiant self. When you flirt, you become lit up and filled with open, confident energy. When you relax into being fully yourself, your confidence gets stronger. As you tune into yourself, you get in touch with those things that feed and renew you. Flirting is a powerful tool to assist you in this process. Flirting brings you into the present moment. While there, pause and notice how you feel. Assess your energy. You'll likely feel great, energized, receptive, and happy. You are actively having fun. Doing so resets your center. Fun and confidence are two benefits of flirting. You need them to enjoy life more fully. Give yourself permission to flirt playfully. It will lift both you and the world. This is the 3rd in a series of three articles on Flirting. Read "A Fresh Take on Flirting" in the May/June 2023 issue of On Purpose Woman Magazine to learn more about flirting as a form of play. Read "How to Flirt: Tips for Successful Flirting" in the July/August 2023 issue for flirting tips. Find both articles in the OPW Magazine Archives. Gain confidence flirting, add sizzle, move past patriarchal limits about flirting, and reclaim the gifts of play with Shelly O'Connell, Flirting Coach for Women and author of "Finding Your Flirt." For more info, visit: Read the blog posts, buy her book, and if you're curious about flirting, schedule a free consultation.
With deep respect, Shelly
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